Spencer Pratt finds a pregnancy test in the trash on The Hills tonight.
This can only mean one thing: MTV told him to say he found it there and pretend to profess his deep concern that Heidi Montag might be pregnant.
He confides in pal Charlie that he took her to Hollywood hot spot Katsuya "for a little alcohol test." He says she didn't even have a sip! Case closed!
"What if she's already pregnant?" a worried Spencer Pratt asks Charlie, stating that if she is, their marriage is "game over." Mmm hmm. Sure it is.
Spencer loves to show Heidi his o-face. This, however, is his nooooo-face!
This season, Heidi Montag has been even more vocal about her desire to have kids than she is when Spencer's giving her 20-30 orgasms a day.
Much as Spencer likes tapping that mostly-plastic booty, he's been adamant about not having kids. He even pretended to consider a vasectomy.
Last week on The Hills, Heidi planned retaliation on him for his little doctor visit, telling Audrina Patridge she planned on pulling the goalie soon.
If any of this were real, it would make for compelling television. But alas. Check out a clip of Spencer freaking on tonight's episode post-jump: