Displaying rare humanity and perspective, Kate Gosselin said she isn't proud of the Jon & Kate Plus 8 moments which she spent basically castrating hubby Jon.
"I was very hard on him. I would never deny that," she said on the TLC special Kate: Her Story. "I felt very much like a lot of weight rested on my shoulders."
"I was wrong to treat him that way," Kate Gosselin added. "Was it good, healthy and wonderful? No. Am I proud of those moments that were captured? No."
Those moments were what initially had fans playing for Team Jon in the early stages of the couple's split, before new Jon became the world's biggest d-bag.
"I still wake up every day, and I think the phone will ring," Kate began, taking a long pause before she continued, voice cracking, "and it'll be the old Jon."
Below are more excerpts from this very special interview ...
On how they drifted apart. "Our goals just very much changed. My goals didn't change as a mom. I just think somewhere along the line, his goals changed."
On when she knew it was over: "I think I was on a plane coming home from somewhere and I remember thinking, We're not going to recover from this."
On the possibly exploitative nature of Jon and Kate Plus 8: "As someone who laid on bed rest from 7 to 30 weeks, who fought for every second of their existence, I can tell you there is nothing that would force me to put them in harm's way."
On why she doesn't quit while she's ahead: "We can't turn life off. I can't turn life off. In the last nine, 10 months, it's gotten really crazy and I can't seem to get away from it at this point. My goal in all this is I just want peace for my kids."
On why doesn't she pull the plug on the spotlight right now: "We're too far gone. Stepping out of the spotlight when it's prudent to do so is a good thing."
On the rumor she had an affair with her bodyguard, Steve Neild, earlier this year: "So unthinkable to me that to have to think about it makes me sick."
On why she needs a bodyguard: "People have a lot of contempt and hate toward me and at the end of the day, I need to come home safe to my kids."
On Jon's increasingly suspect personal life: "We do [talk] where it relates to the kids. As far as dating goes, I've never, ever broached the subject with him."
Follow the jump for a clip of Kate's interview last night ...