Sure, he's curmudgeonly and crotchety. Sure, he had an affair with Stephanie Birkitt and got blackmailed for it. But David Letterman is great at what he does.

That's due in part to his ability to create great comedy out of nothing. When he goes over to his desk after the monologue, you never know what’s coming.

Case in point? Last night, Dave went off on a New York Times’ front page story from last weekend on the increasing usage of the word “douche” on TV.

“Who knew The New York Times had enough money to pay a guy to count the word ‘douche’?” Dave asked, persistently ridiculing the paper's "journalism."

Check out Dave's rant about the piece below ...

This Douche Thing

Letterman also mocked terrorist mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, whose trial is approaching and whose photo appeared above the "douche" story.

In a hilarious aside unrelated to his overall point (or maybe this was the point, and the douche bit was the aside, who knows), he compared Mohammed to a sad, lost puppy longing to be adopted (left) and a drunk who just woke up (right).

One might describe Khalid by a certain term beginning with a D, a word often paired with its twin sister "bag." But that's normally reserved for wastes of space like Jon Gosselin and not actual terrorists. Better luck next time, Khalid.