The City Recap: "Meet the Fackelmayers"

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Last night on The City, Whitney Port decided it was time she started dating again. MTV apparently agreed and dug up some guy named Freddie Fackelmayer.

Below, our staffers review the latest episode of The Hills spinoff and quote-unquote workplace drama, awarding and deducting as many points as we see fit ...

Whitney and Samantha Swetra compare designer shoes to boroughs of New York City. Even Gossip Girl wouldn't try to fabricate those stereotypes, but Plus 4.

At Elle, Joe Zee totally loves Olivia Palermo. Erin Kaplan totally doesn't! This not only feels contrived, we've been over it about 375 times by now. Minus 5.

Roxy Olin hangs out with a guy named Zac and expresses that she's jealous of Whitney and her life. Refreshing honesty, and use of a bra as a top. Plus 3.

Whitney decides she's going to date again. Enter Harry Fackelmayer, Sam's cute friend, who totally has a hot older brother! What are the odds? Minus 2.

Whitney agrees to meet up with Freddie Fackelmeyer at a barbecue. One that happens to be held at the apartment of Adam Senn and Whit's ex, Jay Lyon (who's out of town). How downright Kristin Cavallari of Whitney Port to show. Plus 7.

Kelly Cutrone tells Whitney to pee on the wall of the apartment to mark her territory. Plus 5, because that's funny stuff to hear from your boss, although we would have preferred if she instructed Whitney to top shelf the bathroom.

Adam Senn is a moron, but no longer really on the show, so just Minus 1.

Speaking of people who need to get kicked off the show, when will MTV pull the plug on Olivia Palermo? She has no redeeming qualities, her life is boring and has nothing to do with Whitney. Break out the pink slip already! Minus 24.

Putting aside the fact that his name is Freddie Fackelmayer, this Freddie Fackelmayer seems like a fairly large douche. La dee freakin' da, he works on Wall Street, wears preppy clothes and talks about surfing. Are we supposed to care? Minus 17.

Throw in another Minus 10 for the fake tan. In the Northeast.

But Plus 16 because we heard that they broke up before we even knew they dated, which is both hilarious and slightly comforting. Whit is redeemed. A little.

TOTAL: -24. SEASON TOTAL: -17. This week's scores are skewed by the sleep-inducing awfulness that is Olivia, but still, mediocre overall. Step up, City!

Whitney Port Cleavage Photo

Whitney Port and Freddie Fackelmeyer. Yes, that's really him.

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i ove freddies last name, but i totally prefer his brother to him!
i love olivia, agrre with not watching it if it wasnt for her.

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Freddie Falkendouche!!! Ciao

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Olivia Palermo's brath must stink like death. She looks flimsy when she walks. I apologize if it is Parkinson's. If not she is trash with money with no social skills.

Callmetaylor

ewww whats with his tan :|

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Just watched the show tonight...Olivia may be horrible but at least she's something to look at... If she was pure and good her boss would probably be even more jealous... Roxy is obviously jealous of Whitney's show induced liaisons... Stop picking on Freddie... He seems harmless!

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Sorry for the mass of comments, but another thing I find extremely frustrating/annoying about Whitney - her fashion sense!!
What the hell is she wearing sometimes? I swear she burglarized my grandmothers house and stole the tablecloth to wear it as a moo-moo. I feel like she tries to wear things that are out there because it's trendy, or fashionable, but to me it's just weird.

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Roxy barely even has a storyline, and they're not even trying to bother hiding the fact that the reason she's on the show is just to mix things up since Whitney is so damn boring.

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I totally agree with IMHO - the only reasion the City is remotely interesting to me is Olivia.. she's flipping hilarious, and the blond girl who hates her, she's got the funniest facial expressions.

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I only watch The City for Olivia P. If you want her off the show, why don't you stop giving her press, dimwit?

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Were it not for Olivia the city I wouldn't bother watching the city. Roxy's storyline is boring, Whitney is as always blah and a doormat...Olivia is the 'bitch' of the show, true, but it's all scripted and staged anyway so I don't see why people take it seriously. Olivia is the best dressed, she's the only eye candy on the show, bitch or not

Whitney Port Biography

Lauren Conrad, Whitney Port in Teen Vogue Lauren Conrad's good friend on The Hills, Whitney Port is there to lend a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, or offer sage advice.... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Whitney Eve Port

Whitney Port Quotes

I feel like lately, or at least since I've known you, it's been really difficult with friends, like you've had a lot of problems with friends.

Whitney Port [to Lauren Conrad]

Guys need to realize that they need to wait awhile and that they shouldn't be so desperate.

Whitney Port
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