Hello? Pot? Oh, hey! This is Kettle. Just wanted to let you know you're black.
This is basically what Dina Lohan, very likely the worst mother in human history, is saying in her recent message for her ex Michael about his recent interviews.
Michael has said that their troubled daughter Lindsay is abusing prescription pills and is a shell of a person. Dina says Mike should zip it and focus on himself.
Using a celebrity gossip mag as her personal voicemail, Dina lashed back at People Michael: "Michael Lohan needs to focus on paying child support, of which he is six months behind, and making up for all the years he was an absentee dad."
Moreover, the miserable excuse for a human being and parent says her counterpart "needs to stop going national television talking about his children publicly."
Right, because that's not what Dina's entire life is based on.
On Saturday, Michael told celebrity photo agency X17 that he is angling for a Britney Spears-style arrangement in which he can administer Lindsay's affairs.
What a mess. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
"I'm going to see the judge this week... If I can't get a conservatorship, then I'm going to take her to an undisclosed location and get her straight. But I know I'm gonna get charged [with] kidnapping," the absolute moron said.
During a taping of The Maury Povich Show last week, Michael looked into the camera and relayed this message to Lindsay: "I’m gonna do anything, everything I have to save your life, whether mom likes it, the public likes it, or anyone."
In response to Dina's comment, Michael tells People: "She says I'm not focusing on being a good parent, but is [Dina] focusing on being a good parent?"
You tell her, Mike.
Insisting he is only going public for the sake of Lindsay, he says, "Look, I know sometimes I've said things I shouldnt have, but I have to help my child."
Good luck with that. Lindsay, who got plastered twice over the weekend, plans to turn to the courts and seek a restraining order against her father.
"Lindsay is actively getting a restraining order, her lawyer have already been contacted," says a Lindsay source. "She's scared. This is really serious."