Breaking, False News: Kristen Stewart Dumps Robert Pattinson!

by at . Comments

It's all over, folks.

Due to poor magazine sales the pressure of the relationship, a leading supermarket tabloid has invented a new story that reports that Kristen Stewart has broken up with Robert Pattinson.

Water for Elephants Shot

“Rob was talking marriage,” said OK! Weekly's imaginary anonymous source, adding Stewart was unhappy with how little she was seeing of her friends and family. “She told him they need to take a break.”

How sad. It was just two issues weeks ago that this same publication pretended to have interviewed a supposedly happy Robsten inside their home, citing the couple itself as claiming it was essentially "married" already.

What could have gone wrong in the last few days? It's hard for OK! to make up believable quotes from non-existent people to say. But there is good news:

The magazine is already working on a cover story about aliens taking over Kristen's body Rob winning his true love back. Phew!

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This is so confusing. They were never engaged! And I do think that they r still together. And I also think that hmmm is correct because they cant be off and on like that. Who can? Kristen stewart needs help. She looks so hard and weak. Bless that child.


thats sad..sorta


i think they if they did actually go out (because i dont believe they evr have) rob would call it off :)


f**king hell i wish pathetic magazines would stop making up S**t!!!
just coz the have no lives doesnt mean they have to ruin every one elses!


omg im so happy they r lik da best couple ever cuz its like they were made 4 each other cuz this is like soooooooooooo not true


Argh, OK! Mag is really stupid. They need to make their minds up. They make up all this bullcrap from nothing. I mean seriously, leave them the f*ck alone ! (=


Nah, this is all stupid... Kristen has a boyfriend called micheal. Why does nobody know that?? And that crap about Rob taking drugs and alcohol is so totally wrong. And he is NOT going out with anyone.


dont belive it i know its a romer, kristen and rob are still together and thay love each outher very much


Im so glad that didnt really happen i luv those 2 2ether thay r totally awesome!!!!! But if they were 2 break up then i would hope both would b happy wit dere choice


Hey I agree with the commenters on here OK MAG. is really confusing and hey I support their marriage if they do! Humm buta, I don't get it though really they were in love all of this time moving in together and now Rob wants to settle down just like in New Moon when he preposes at the end. But, I think its too fast for Kristen just wait a bit she will come around Rob! Hey she is thinkn about u my people say. Kristen should be soo tired after wrapping up Eclipse at 430am last nite so it takes time to understand time and her problems, when she calms down she will be ready to say YES. But, its great Rob that hes tryn to win here back great job! Your perfect for one another. I support their marriage if they do tie da knot.