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When it comes to honoring true music talent … watch something else. The MTV Video Music Awards do none of that. It’s an arbitrary award show on a network called Music Television that no longer airs music videos.

But when it comes to celebrity fashion, gossip, rumors, random feuds, meltdowns and buzz-worthy events, the VMAs are in a league of their own.

Here are some of the highlights (and lowlights, thanks to that d!ck Kanye West) from the 2009 MTV VMAs, which aired Sunday, September 13 …

  • After Taylor Swift took home the prized Moon Man for Best Female Video, Kanye West hjiacked her speech with a belligerent, absurd tirade.
  • Later, Kanye apologized for his outburst, using way too many exclamation points and saying he was just being “real.” Yeah. A real a$$hole.
  • Fans and celebs alike decried Kanye’s outburst, with the most scathing and hilarious reply coming from an unlikely source: Kelly Clarkson.
  • The much-anticipated Janet Jackson tribute to Michael featured her dancing along to the music and video of their classic duet, “Scream.”
  • MTV also aired a preview of This Is It, the documentary footage showing MJ preparing for the tour that was to begin shortly after he died.
  • OMG: An extended New Moon trailer was unveiled.

Irate, drunk jackass Kanye West inexplicably cut off the adorable Taylor Swift and declared that Beyonce more deserving of a completely made-up award.

  • Alicia Keys and Jay-Z’s performance was crashed by Lil Mama. Not Kanye style, she just danced along and hilariously posed with them at the end.
  • On a fashion note, Kristin Cavallari and Katy Perry wore, like, the same dress. Or at least dresses of the same color, length, and general appeal.
  • Pink and Shakira seriously wore the same dress though. Faux pas!
  • These girls Knowles fashion: Both Beyonce and Solange shined.
  • Who needs a dress? Whitney Port opted to wear sexy lingerie.
  • Naturally, and predictably, Lady Gaga was not to be outdone.