With so many celebrity babies being born these days, it's time to reflect on some of the more ridiculous things stars choose to name their offspring.
It's not a short list.
From tributes to their own names to animate objects like fruit, to bad plays on words and misspelled, utter nonsense that makes you wonder what the hell they're thinking, celebrities are constantly one-upping themselves.
Here's a look the 32 all-time greatest (worst) celebrity baby names, in the opinion of our celebrity gossip editors and exhaustively researched by our interns.
At least, that is, until Paris Hilton gets knocked up.
We love Blanket to pieces, but MJ's son is still #16.
- Tu Morrow (Rob Morrow) - Say it out loud.
- Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)
- Kal-El (Nicolas Cage)
- Calico (Alice Cooper)
- Zuma (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale) - Zima would have been better.
- Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon) - Is that a college course these days?
- Free (Barbara Hershey and David Carradine) - Is its middle name Britney?
- Denim and Diezel Ky (Toni Braxton)
- Moxie CrimeFighter (Penn Jillette)
- Bogart Che Peyote (Reality star David "Puck" Rainey)
- Apple (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow) - Not really in the same league as #1-10 ... but really? Apple? It'll be less cute when she's a teen.
- Fifi Trixibell (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates)
- Peaches and Pixie (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates) - Talk about being on a roll.
- Track (Sarah Palin and Todd Palin) - Track what? Honorable mention: Trig.
- Princess Tiaamii (Katie Price) - How is that even pronounced?
- Prince Michael II / "Blanket" (Michael Jackson) - The best part (besides his nickname)? There is no actual Prince Michael I, only Michael Jr.
- Seargeoh (Sylvester Stallone) - That's not even English.
- Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone) - Sounds like a feminine hygiene product.
- Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson) - Nice that Michael has sibling company on this list.
- Hud (John Cougar Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin) - Possibly ponsored by the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development.
- Spec Wildhorse (John Cougar Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin) - Even better.
- Pirate (Korn frontman Jonathan Davis and porn-star wife Deven)
- Bronx Mowgli (Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz)
- Honor (Jessica Alba and Cash Warren)
- Sparrow (Nicole Richie and Joel Madden) - We liked Harlow, actually ... but Sparrow is a generic bird name that sounds like a girl's name.
- Rebel, Racer, Rogue (Robert Rodriguez) - Who does this Robert Rodriguez guy think he is, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian's dad?
- Seven Sirius (Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu) - That'll make him ... wait, wait for it ... an Outkast at school for sure. Sorry, had to.
- Harley Quinn (Kevin Smith)
- Camera (Arthur Ashe) - Apparently Nikon was taken.
- Blue Angel (U2's The Edge)
- Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leoni)
- Reignbeau (Ving Rhames) - Ving apparently failed spelling.
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6 Comments
September 11th, 2009 7:55 PM
Prince Michael II / "Blanket" (Michael Jackson) - The best part (besides his nickname)? There is no actual Prince Michael I, only Michael Jr.
Haha! That's so funny. Except that you're not informed! Michael Joseph Jr.'s name was changed to Prince Michael, shortly after MJ divorced Debbie Rowe. So there is a Prince Michael I. And what's wrong with the nickname? Geez, you people are troubled.
September 12th, 2009 2:05 AM
people who name their child to Bronx Mowgli shouldnt be allowed to have children,and just like psycho-fucker octomom they should be taken away from these sick fucks,naming childs just because of there own ego...
September 12th, 2009 5:28 PM
Hud Mellencamp was named after the character played by Paul Newman in the film of that name. The character was introduced in the novel on which the film is based, "Horseman, Pass By," Larry McMurtry's first novel. Because you were too lame to do this research I felt compelled to do so.
September 13th, 2009 8:39 AM
LOL "TU MORROW" HEHEHE
September 15th, 2009 10:53 AM
I guess it's too far in the past, but Frank Zappa's Moon Unit and Dweezil, I think, started this whole name-your-children-something-guaranteed-to-get-their-ass kicked trend.
September 16th, 2009 6:15 PM
Ditto to what Sonnysdad said above in all respects. Speck (and you couldn't even spell his name correctly) Mellencamp is named after his grandfather.
"Try the Googles. It makes the Interwebs all the more information-ative." (Duh.)