Lindsay Lohan is either a buffoon or on drugs. Possibly both.

Two pieces of advice to all the anorexic coke heads out there:

1. Don't put your cellphone number online
2. If you do, don't make the password 1234

This may seem like common sense, but we are talking about Lindsay Lohan. This is a girl who posts nonsensical, strung-out rants at her lesbian lover on Twitter.

This is also a girl who gets robbed routinely. Her alarm system code is probably 1234 too, or it's written down on post-its all over the house so she won't forget.

She'll never be accused of being smart.

In any case, her voicemails were obtained, then posted online. Most are from drunk morons squandering the prank call opportunity of a lifetime, or people trying to get Samantha Ronson to DJ (really) or just have coffee with Linds.

But the most desperate comes from her father Michael Lohan, who cries about how he wants to see LiLo's sis Ali Lohan, but she doesn't want him to.

In a second message, Michael tells Lindsay that he bought her CD at 7-11 and thinks it's "so beautiful." It's hard to say if he's more sleazy or pathetic.

Listen to the compilation of Lindsay Lohan voicemail below:

Lindsay Lohan Voicemails