It's not easy being Samantha Burke.
Celebrity gossip sites label you a fame whore, accuse you of pulling the goalie, and post pics of you as a Hooters waitress online. All the while, you just want the famous person who impregnated you to remember who the hell you are dammit!
To that end, take a series of pregnant, underwear pictures and post them online. And if that doesn't work, have a close friend do the talking for you.
This is the story of Jude Law's baby mama.
A close friend of Samantha Burke gave E! exclusive details of the brief "relationship" between the Sherlock Holmes actor and the aspiring model.
The fairy tale all began in (where else) a club:
"She met him at a club in New York," says the friend. "He was sick, so she kept going to his hotel over the course of a week to take care of him."
Jude! Jude! Pay attention to me! Look at me! In my underwear!
Poor, sick Jude Law didn't remember her after she did everything she could (even after at least one roll in the hay) to nurse him back to health:
"Jude didn't even remember her. [Samantha Burke] hasn't seen him since New York City. They've only been in contact through their lawyers."
What a player. With a revolving door of eager women essentially throwing themselves at him, can Jude be expected to keep them all straight?
One wonders if Jon Gosselin even remembers Kate Major.
This friend thinks Samantha is therefore "crazy" for going through with the pregnancy, so one naturally has to question her financial motivations.
But Sam recently spoke out (via her blog) to deny any gold-digging: "I can't tell you how far from a gold-digger I am. I've never dated a rich ma."
Still, her friend had to point out that Samantha comes from "a very white trashy town" in Pensacola, Fla., and "her family doesn't have any money."
With friends like these, who needs celebrity gossip enemies?