The Hills star is taking it all off ... almost. Or not even close.

The Heidi Pratt Playboy spread for September has been hyped incredibly hard by the men's magazine and gossip tabloids, but now that a couple of photos have been released, we can officially call it a disappointment for several reasons:

1. Heidi Montag is not that attractive.
2. The pics are only as revealing as your standard Victoria's Secret catalog, with one major difference: the women in said catalog are actually hot.

"I did pose nude," the 22-year-old said yesterday.

You just won't see Heidi Montag nude in the mag. Just this:

Ever modest, and never one to share intimate details of his life, Spencer Pratt says he hung up poster-sized photos of nude outtakes on his bathroom wall: "Now when I'm peeing, I get to see a 10-foot naked photo of my wife," he says.

There's some lovely imagery for you.

Although the racy photos that made it into the mag are PG-13 (she's wearing skimpy lingerie or a tiny bikini), she says she'll strip down completely eventually.

Just not before she gets more plastic surgery. Really. She said this.

"The body is a beautiful creation. If anything, the reason I didn't show everything is because I plan to get a few more upgrades," Heidi tells Playboy.

"I'm definitely not done with my surgical quest," she goes on, adding that she'd like "to go bigger on my boobs" for husband Spencer Pratt, 26.

Heidi also admits she hasn't told her dad about her pictorial because she comes from a strict Christian family. Not that he'll ever hear about it.

"They're a little behind the times where he lives in Colorado," she says.