Heidi Montag "Performs" at Miss Universe 2009

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In sequined pants and matching bra, Heidi Montag's rendition of "Body Language," her first career live effort, was underwhelming even by her low standards.

NBC, which was broadcasting the Miss Universe 2009 pageant live, apparently had similar thoughts and blocked out more than half of her song at the event.

Heidi sang (term used loosely) as the 15 finalists were introduced. Stefania Fernandez was later crowned the winner, helping fans forget this musical debacle.

"I think people don't know what to expect, and how can they? It's my first performance live and it's in front of half a billion eyes. I'm very excited to show everyone what I'm coming with," said Heidi Montag prior to her performance.

What she came up with were the simplest of dance moves, some of which she couldn't even execute (so much for all that rehearsing), and bad lip-synching even when she insisted she would sing live. Or, "as live as it can be." Poor.

Sources later reported that Heidi Montag might not sing because "production staffers were worried about her performance." With good reason. The wife of Spencer Pratt experienced problems remembering the lyrics as well ... to her own song.

Relax, though ... it's even worse than we're making it sound.

If you want to watch Heidi Montag lip-synch to her bad ripoff of "Situation" by Yaz, and attempt to dance while NBC edits out half of the material, check out the video of the 'Tag "singing" at the 2009 Miss Universe pageant below ...

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I think my eyes are bleeding.

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SO FAKE! SHE MIMING!