by Hilton Hater at

Jon & Kate Plus 8 is no longer a show about two people raising eight adorable children.

It's now a seedy, exploitive documentary about the tension between a married couple that just happens to have a bunch of kids running around, most of whom take away airtime from the latest feud TLC can highlight between the adults. It's pathetic and no one should be watching it.

Kate Chows Down

Of course, sadly, millions of people are. With that in mind, here's how the series milked the hatred between Jon and Kate Gosselin this week...

On last night's episode (taped months ago), Kate celebrated her 34th birthday... with just her children.

Where did the script call for Jon to be?

"I went out to Utah for, like, five days," he said. "I just wanted to get back out there and ride with my friends. It just happened to fall on Kate's birthday."

Did Jon Gosselin celebrate his wife's birthday by porking Deanna Hummel? That's the latest rumor.

According to Us Weekly, Jon actually spent the weekend with rumored girlfriend Deanna Hummel. Sources say the two were together at a Spring Gruv party at The Canyon in Utah on March 28, Kate's birthday.

Meanwhile, the Gosselin parents also recorded a handful of couch testimonials together this episode, actually appearing side-by-side a few times. (We're shocked TLC didn't create smoke emanating out of their ears.)

"This season, sometimes you'll see Kate and I interview separately. Sometimes you'll see us interview together on the chair," Jon said. "It depends how things are going. We have busy schedules. And that's it."

Man. We feel dirty just writing about this stuff.

Tags: , ,

by Free Britney at

Lauren Conrad is officially retired from reality TV and won’t be returning for the new season of The Hills this fall, but she has high hopes for it.

On her official site, the 23-year-old LC blogged some thoughts on saying goodbye to the MTV show that has chronicled her life for five seasons:

L-C Pic

“Last night was my last episode of The Hills. It was a bittersweet night for me. A part of me is sad to say goodbye to something that has been such a prominent part of my life, but I know that it was time and I am very happy with my decision."

"I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has watched and supported me over the years. While putting my personal relationships and struggles on television wasn’t always easy, the support I received from people made such a difference."


[Photo: Juan Rico / Fame Pictures]

"Because of all of you and your support, I was able to accomplish so many aspirations and for that I am very grateful. So, THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I have some interesting projects in the works and I will keep you all updated."

"From what I’ve heard the next season will not disappoint. :-)”

Wow, an exciting tease. The new scripts must be really good.

Tags: ,

by Free Britney at

It doesn't exactly compare to the plastic surgery stars get, but sometimes even the amount of makeup they put on (or don't) dramatically alters their look.

Take Hayden Panettiere for example.

Wanna Lei?

The Heroes star attended an AIDS charity event sporting a romantic, fresh-faced glow – but opted for all-out, bold glamour at another Hollywood opening.

You can see the difference in the Hayden Panettiere photos below. Which look do you like better on her, less makeup or more? Tell us in the survey below ...

Hayden Panettiere looks better with ...

 

Tags:

by Free Britney at

Spencer Pratt's full rap music video for "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me out of Here" - his debut single, as well as a marketing hook for the new reality show by the same name that he's starring on - has been released, and it is nothing short of amazing.

Fans of the self-proclaimed future of hip-hop should definitely watch the video below, so long as you don't mind a strong chance of moderate eye and ear bleeding.

For those who can't stomach any more of the gruesome twosome than you are already exposed to via The Hills and sites like this one, here are the Cliffs Notes:

  • He appears to be singing to a lizard for most of it.
  • The video editing may or may not have done by a middle school student.
  • Heidi Montag bobbing around, making odd faces and swinging her arms in the background is at least an 8.5 on the unintentional comedy meter.
  • He gives multiple shout-outs to Twitter, beginning a verse with "First Tweet of the day, I get my swag on," but ending said verse with "... I'm Spencer Pratt and I'll be Twittin' ya back" - complete with hand motions.

You've been warned. Check out the epic awfulness below ...

Tags: ,

by Free Britney at

Jay Leno passes the Tonight Show baton to Conan O'Brien tonight, and we couldn't be happier. Seriously. We love David Letterman, but are much happier to see him go up against a formidable Conan than the utterly replaceable Leno.

In anticipation of Conan's first show, below is a look at one of his previous show's most genius creations - Triumph the Insult Comic Dog - talking to "Attack of the Clones" enthusiasts outside the Star Wars film's premiere in New York in 2002.

Here's Triumph venturing into the eye of the storm ...

Tags:

by Hilton Hater at

Her vagina might be cavernous, but her body is slammin.

While Steve Neild is rumored be an expert on both these Kate Gosselin body parts, the public has now been exposed to the latter, following a vacation Kate and her kids recently took to Bald Head Island, North Carolina.

Kate G.

The mother of eight likely raked in hordes of cash from paparazzi as she was photographed in a bikini last week during the trip.

While Gosselin doesn't look like someone that has given birth to two sets of multiples, her body is not the result of any impressive workout routine. Instead, a tummy tuck was one of the numerous freebies TLC handed out to Kate and husband Jon.

Regardless of how she got this way, the bottom line is that Kate Gosselin is bordering on major MILF status. Do you agree?

Would you hit it?

 

Tags: ,

by Free Britney at

As the world holds its breath waiting for news of the missing Air France flight from Rio de Janeiro to Paris, everyone is searching for answers.

Fear not, though. Stephanie Pratt is on the case.

The Hills star and painful sister of Spencer Pratt just summoned all 70 of her I.Q. points to Twitter this ridiculous nonsense: "I really dont think its the result of a lightning strike... Why is my gut thinking it was a terrorist act."

Steph Pratt

An Air France Airbus A330 with 228 people on board disappeared over the Atlantic Ocean early Monday morning after suffering multiple breakdowns during a fierce electrical storm on a flight from Rio de Janeiro to Paris.

The flight is feared lost after it encountered an electrical storm with very heavy turbulence and lost radar contact about 15 minutes later.

It is a tragic, and terrifying event. Our thoughts are with everyone involved.

But come on, Stephanie Pratt. How big a moron are you? Some people should have their Twitter accounts - and reality TV contracts - permanently revoked.

Tags: ,

by Hilton Hater at

After accepting her trophy of golden popcorn last night at the MTV Movie Awards for Best Song From a Movie, Miley Cyrus had a lot of people to thank.

First, she expressed how psyched she was to have the award handed to her by Lil' Wayne; then she showered praise on her fans; at the last second - d'uh! - she remembered her maker:

Party in the USA

"I want to thank God, HELLOOOO, the only reason I'm here. I love you so much."

It looks like the Big Man was listening, as He's rewarded Cyrus with a fourth season of Hannah Montana, The Disney Channel announced today.

Yo, God, it's me, Miles. Props for helping me write "The Climb." Keep on rockin!

"Miley and the producers have proposed a change of setting for Season Four that will provide the catalyst for wonderful new characters and further expand the storytelling opportunities," the network said in a statement.

Production on the show's third season is over this week; shooting will then resume early next year.

Are you looking forward to more of Miley on the small screen?

Tags:

by Free Britney at

In honor of LOGO’s upcoming NewNowNext Awards, Britney Spears is coming out with a faux fragrance custom-designed especially for gays, called Mo'.

Its tagline: "One spray, and the gays will run your way."

LOL. Carrie Prejean would be rolling in her grave if she could see this. Check out Britney's sexy video ad for the forthcoming fake scent below ...

Logo executive producer Christopher Willey says of the video, “She’s having fun with her gay audience, because she’s an official gay icon at such a young and tender age. She's always had this natural rapport with the gay community."

"I think she just really likes her gay fans and she sees this as a way to talk directly to them, which she hasn’t really done before.” Way to be, B.

We're just glad video of this incident didn't make the montage.

Tags: