Seriously, Star ought to start publishing itself as fan fiction.
According to the venerable celebrity gossip tabloid, whose writers really need a raise, after making secret plans for a 1 a.m. rendezvous, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston got together at a New York City hotel and spent two hours - alone!
In a "blockbuster exclusive" - which is pretty easy to snag when you make up the story - Star reveals, thanks to a tell-all interview with the driver who brought Jen to the Gramercy Park Hotel, that the ex-couple went to great lengths not to be seen.
This explains why there were no photos of Jen and Brad together ... just a cover featuring two separate photos made to look like they were together.
"It was well planned so no one would see them," says the anonymous driver, who claims that the pair spent more than two hours alone together in the back of the Gramercy's nearly deserted 18th floor Private Roof Club and Garden.
"They were really careful not to be spotted."
This isn't the first time Brad has engaged in a made-up rendezvous concocted by Star Magazine that ended with him getting to see Jennifer Aniston nude.
They were not even remotely shuttled around New York City in a black SUV on April 23, sipping Starbucks and chatting in separate cities with other people.
Knowing how Angelina Jolie reacted when she first caught Brad talking to Jen on the phone recently, insiders say she's not going to be happy about this.
Well, she probably be wouldn't if it were true anyway.
"When Angelina finds out about this reunion, she'll go ballistic," says a fictitious source, assessing the situation with great expertise and wisdom.