Nadya Suleman is not too proud to accept handouts.
In fact, the fertile one is all for it. She's accepted donations for her newborns, sold family photos, applied for food stamps, enlisted free nannies she later fired for being spies and sponged off taxpayers in countless other ways.
But she's drawing the line at plastic surgery. But only because she doesn't feel she needs it - otherwise, what's another $20,000 for the public to pick up?
"I would never even accept a tummy tuck even if it were offered because I don't need it," Octomom nobly told Radar Online. "I'm actually shocked myself at my own body ... my goal is to do things as naturally as possible."
Except for being artificially inseminated with 14 frickin' kids, that is.
Although Octomom says she's had "absolutely no time to do anything yet," she is convinced that she'll eventually get back into top shape on her own.
"I would like to join a gym," she says without explanation of how she would pay for the membership (or a nanny to watch her kids) on her $0 salary.
"My friends nicknamed me 'Rubberband' because after every [child] I had, I was back to a size 2 in a month. Now, it's three months, and I'm not a 2 yet. I'm a 5 or 6, but I'll get there. I like to be small because I have extraordinary energy."
Wait ... Nadya Suleman has friends?
While she has no plans to go under the knife, Suleman did add without irony that she is feeling compelled to provide for her children.
"What's going on now is that I feel obligated - almost compelled - to earn a living to take care of my kids," she says.
By whoring them out on a reality show, natch.