The Bachelorette Recap: Meet Jillian Harris!

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She's back! Jillian Harris took the first step in her journey for love last night and The Hollywood Gossip's recap of The Bachelorette provides a rundown of memorable moments, with points awarded or deducted as we see fit.

Last night, Jillian took a look back at her previous quest for reality TV romance on The Bachelor, then met her suitors for this season. Let's get to it ...

Jill's hoping to find Mr. Right, and darn it, she's "going to make the right decision the FIRST TIME." Jason Mesnick just got straight up owned! Plus 5.

"Mr. Invisible" is who J says she's looking for. Perhaps should she focus on Mr. I'm More Interested in Love Than Reality TV Fame instead. Minus 4.

Chris Harrison welcomes Jillian back to The Bachelor house, and she looks breathtaking in a long white dress. She makes a pimp so proud. Plus 11.

Numerous times, Jill says how "shocked" she is over the decision she must make. Think they just re-use the same cue cards each season? Minus 4.

Jillian: "I don't give a $h!t what he puts on his hot dog, as long as he knows how to have a good time, has a good sense of humor, and loves me." Plus 8.

Don't get us wrong, there was some solid c*ck-blocking going on in this episode, but we somehow doubt that over the course of a season, these guys can match the consistent, crazy contestant quotient of The Bachelor. But here's hoping. Minus 2.

Maybe we're just noticing now because she's no longer going up against Melissa Rycroft, but did Jillian get way hotter overnight? Damn, girl. Plus 20.

  • Simon Ambrose
  • The Woman of the Hour

Simon (above), who not only wore a pink shirt, but has such a heavy English accent that it requires subtitles, has all the makings of a Grade A d-bag. We get the feeling this is the kind of guy who just got back from a trip to Bora Bora with his live-in girlfriend a week before ditching her to go on this show. And he gets a rose. Minus 10.

David from Ohio almost starts to cry from anxiety as he meets our girl. This is a rather pathetic display, but he redeems himself later, shocking the world when he wins the First Impression Rose. Good to see Jill likes the sensitive type. Plus 2.

Brian actually refers to our girl as "hot tub Harris." No wonder she so loathes the subject. He might as well have referred to her as "Ho Bag Harris." Moreover, he runs inside to make a couple of hot dogs. Weak sauce, B. Weak. Minus 6.

Jesse reveals an "aspiring Canadian" t-shirt. Nice touch. No word on whether he is more attracted to the universal health care or Jillian Harris, but Plus 3.

Minus 5 for ABC trying to hype up the "shocking" arrival of five additional dudes. Wow, 30 guys instead of 25? Really pushing the envelope there, ABC. Plus 3, though, because some of the original 25 were quite noticeably rattled by their arrival.

The writers have seen Super Troopers too many times. Inspired by the "Meow" game, they were clearly trying to see how often Jason could say "amazing" per episode. With Jillian, we're gonna need to start a "cool" count every week. Minus 3.

TOTAL: +18! A solid start to what is hopefully a drama-packed, romance-laden season of The Bachelorette in which Jill finds her future husband.

Advancing to the next episode are: David (first impression rose); Jacob, Jesse, Wes, Mathue, Michael, Robert, Edward, Reid, Simon, Kiptyn, Mike, Brian D., Sasha, Julien, Tanner P., Mark, Brad, Tanner F., Juan (rose ceremony).

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I actually know Simon and he isn't a "D-Bag" at all. He is a kind hearted and incredibly sincere person. A thick accent isn't cause to judge someone's personality so severely....

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