Report: Oprah Winfrey Headed for "Early Grave"

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Oprah Winfrey is famous for handing out free gifts, such as a new car, to her studio audience.

But is the talk show goddess keeping a significant secret from her adoring fans?

According to the cover story in this week's National Enquirer, Oprah only has a few years to live. The unreliable* celebrity gossip tabloid claims it brought in "experts" to review Winfrey's medical history.

These anonymous sources say the star's battle with her weight is due to a faulty thyroid that will send her to an "early grave." Reportedly (i.e. not remotely accurately), she's considering surgery to have the thyroid removed.

How pissed will members of Oprah's audience be when she opens a future show with: "Everyone here is getting... a piece of my thyyyyyyyyroid!"

* As with any National Enquirer article, we must state the caveat that the publication was the first to report that John Edwards was having an affair with Rielle Hunter. (We're reminded of that story about a blind squirrel finding a nut...)


for the person who typed; "SURGERY IS NEVER REQUIRED" - you might feel differently if you have an infected appendix, bullet wound, or other life threatening emergency.


Oops, hit submit too soon. We NEED our thyroids, it is the body's master gland influencing all other hormone and metabolic production in the body. The answer to most thyroid problems, including cancer, autoimmune disorders is IODINE. Natural iodine. NOT radioactive. See Dr. Brownstein's book "Iodine: Why You Need It, Why You Cannot Live Without It". The current treatment of thyroid disorders by mainstream medicine (ignoring historical and physiological knowledge) is shocking. The thyroid, as all other organs in the body, runs on nutrients plain and simple.




I agree with sally it is not her fault she is fat and does not like the way she looks. Then using risky meathods to look better and causing any medical problems shehas.


Even if she does have to have surgery for a thyroid problem that should be her own personal business and no one else's. Plus, they act like it is her fault. You can not help if you have a medical problem like that, and there is no shame in needed surgery or medication. Not to mention there are thousands of people with thyroid problems that live long lives. They are just a rag of a magazine and should be taken off the shelves. It is prob a load of you know what anyway.




Where does crap like this come from? Oprah will live to be at least 103 years old. Don't hate the player, hate the game


That was really harsh


Oprah Winfrey Biography

Oprah Winfrey Nude
Oprah Winfrey is a very famous talk show host. Maybe you have heard of her. She may not pump her own gas anymore, but she's extremely... More »
Full Name
Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey Quotes

I like money. It's good for buying things. What you want is money with meaning. Meaning is what brings real richness to your life.

Oprah Winfrey

Anyone that tells you that having your own private jet isn't great is lying to you.