Oprah Winfrey is famous for handing out free gifts, such as a new car, to her studio audience.
But is the talk show goddess keeping a significant secret from her adoring fans?
According to the cover story in this week's National Enquirer, Oprah only has a few years to live. The unreliable* celebrity gossip tabloid claims it brought in "experts" to review Winfrey's medical history.
These anonymous sources say the star's battle with her weight is due to a faulty thyroid that will send her to an "early grave." Reportedly (i.e. not remotely accurately), she's considering surgery to have the thyroid removed.
How pissed will members of Oprah's audience be when she opens a future show with: "Everyone here is getting... a piece of my thyyyyyyyyroid!"
* As with any National Enquirer article, we must state the caveat that the publication was the first to report that John Edwards was having an affair with Rielle Hunter. (We're reminded of that story about a blind squirrel finding a nut...)
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9 Comments
May 3rd, 2009 2:21 PM
That was really harsh
May 3rd, 2009 7:18 PM
Where does crap like this come from? Oprah will live to be at least 103 years old. Don't hate the player, hate the game
May 4th, 2009 2:52 AM
Trashy!!!!
May 5th, 2009 3:31 AM
Even if she does have to have surgery for a thyroid problem that should be her own personal business and no one else's. Plus, they act like it is her fault. You can not help if you have a medical problem like that, and there is no shame in needed surgery or medication. Not to mention there are thousands of people with thyroid problems that live long lives. They are just a rag of a magazine and should be taken off the shelves. It is prob a load of you know what anyway.
May 5th, 2009 7:53 PM
I agree with sally it is not her fault she is fat and does not like the way she looks. Then using risky meathods to look better and causing any medical problems shehas.
July 25th, 2009 10:31 AM
SURGERY IS NEVER REQUIRED
July 25th, 2009 10:35 AM
Oops, hit submit too soon.
We NEED our thyroids, it is the body's master gland influencing all other hormone and metabolic production in the body.
The answer to most thyroid problems, including cancer, autoimmune disorders is IODINE.
Natural iodine. NOT radioactive. See Dr. Brownstein's book "Iodine: Why You Need It, Why You Cannot Live Without It".
The current treatment of thyroid disorders by mainstream medicine (ignoring historical and physiological knowledge) is shocking. The thyroid, as all other organs in the body, runs on nutrients plain and simple.
November 6th, 2009 1:52 PM
How stupid and insensitive it is that you make a joke of something like this. Oprah is a human being and she should be treated with respect just like anyone should when it comes to their personal health. To say something stupid like she will be giving away a piece of her thyroid is so ignorant and unprofessional on your part. And to all of those idiots who are making comments about her not liking herself and doing things to harm her health you are really stupid because it shows a serious lack of compassion on your part. Hopefully none of you judgemental, hypocritical people will ever have to experience any kind of serious health issues where you have to deal with such insensitive and cold behavior from others like you are treating Oprah. And hopefully you will never have an ill family member that will experience this type of negativity from the public the way you are talking so negatively about Oprah. Word of advice people always remember you will reap what you sow so don't be so quick to judge others it might just come back to you.
November 7th, 2009 4:15 PM
for the person who typed; "SURGERY IS NEVER REQUIRED" - you might feel differently if you have an infected appendix, bullet wound, or other life threatening emergency.