According to an interview in Brazil's Quem (Who) magazine with Jesus Luz's dad, the rumors of Madonna and his son getting married are kind of totally true!
Luis Heitor Pinto da Luz says: "The Kabbalah ceremony [in New York that] will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms he is extremely happy."
There you have it, then!
Although, the Madonna-Jesus wedding most likely won't result in the male model signing a prenup anytime soon, as the "wedding" won't be legally binding.
"I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity," says Luis, who doesn't seem upset or concerned.
Jesus' father, who is probably not God, continued to discuss his son's relationship, saying He and Madge live together in her Central Park West apartment.
He denies another recent set of rumors that Madonna is shelling out large sums of money to teach her hunky Brazilian stallion to speak proper English.
"[Jesus] already spoke English very well before he knew Madonna!" his pop says indignantly, explaining: "He has an aunt residing in the United States."
The young stud has also been playing "manny" to Madge's kids, says papa Luz: "She has small children, and Jesus helps her out with various tasks involving all of them. He plays ball with the kids. Jesus has charisma and loves children."
Whatever the nature of their post-ceremony relationship, Jesus' dad heartily approves of his son's choice in women - even if they're over the half-century mark.
"I've spoken by phone with Madonna - in French, because my English isn't fluent - and she appears to me to be a normal and polite person," he says.
"She is feminine. I don't feel she is a harsh person."
Feminine? The woman's arms are like pythons. We're just saying. Has he seen Madonna recently? Good Lord. She probably juices up harder than A-Rod.