Nadya Suleman will sue a San Diego strip club owner who recently told magazine In Touch that America's favorite mother of 14 was once an erotic dancer.
"Who are these humans?" Octomom fumed to Radar Online, whilst flipping through the print version of the celebrity gossip rag, which she claims even forged documents with her signature to attempt to prove its story.
"There is not one ounce of truth to this."
"I never, ever, ever, ever, EVER worked - even for one day - in a strip club!" Nadya Suleman said, echoing other statements she has made about her past.
She added that her lawyer (where the fees are paid from, who can say) plans on suing Gunner Reid, owner of what is now the Spearmint Rhino club.
Octomom stocks up on groceries. Better get a bigger cart.
Reid claims Suleman stripped - under the stage name Angelina no less - for bachelor parties between 1999 and 2000, while a dancer who goes by "Sage" says Nadya was "overly flirty with the guys we performed for."
The closest Suleman ever got to working the pole, she maintains, was entering a lingerie contest at age 19, which she won. Says a lot about the competition - though this was before she cranked 14 humans out of her vagina.
In addition to being pissed over the rumors that she was a stripper, Suleman is also getting tired of tabloids' frequent Angelina Jolie comparisons.
"No offense," she says. "But I don't want to look like this person." We hope that means she won't make taxpayers foot the bill for plastic surgery.