The Bachelor may be over, but judging by the number of comments on this site and many others devoted to the controversial ending of the 13th season, viewers can't comprehend what they just saw - and still have many questions.
The Seattle Times talked to Jason Mesnick and new girlfriend Molly Malaney in the aftermath of the "shocking" and "intimate" finales. Here's what they said:
Q: Can we start from the beginning? Last time I talked to you in early December, you were engaged to Melissa. Did you ever expect to change your mind?
Jason Mesnick: I would never have proposed if I thought I was going to change my mind. If I had a few more months things would have been different. With the time constraints on the show, at the time I thought I was making the right decision.
Q: You spent the holidays with Melissa in L.A. Was Molly on your mind that whole time?
Jason Mesnick: Initially, I tried to ignore it. Any time I would think about Molly I would be like, "Forget it." I made a decision, I'm going to get married to Melissa. But every day, I just remember thinking, okay, first of all I feel really bad what I did to Molly. And then slowly, I would say, week after week it started building more and more. It was like, now I just don't feel bad, there's a piece of me that's still gone.
Q: Did you fall out of love with Melissa Rycroft?
Jason Mesnick: Melissa is that person I thought going into it I would end up with. I guess in a way she's similar to a lot of other girls I've dated in my life, which is part of the reason why I ended up picking her. It was just something I thought I wanted when realistically, there's probably a reason why my past relationships haven't worked out. What I really needed was somebody different and it was Molly.
Q: The decision to do it on television has been what everyone has been talking about. Did you actually tell Melissa beforehand?
Jason Mesnick: The last conversation with Melissa and I was probably two days before we shot and it was, "Are you even going to wear your engagement ring because we're not together?" She definitely wasn't shell shocked. I knew everybody's going to judge because I did what I decided to do on a TV show. At the time I felt like I didn't have a choice. [... ] Retrospectively, would it have been better if I just didn't show up? That was my alternative. Then would America look at me and say, "This guy's a chicken, he can't even say what's on his mind." It's a lose-lose. Retrospectively would I have not done it on TV? You know what? Yeah. I wouldn't have done it.
Q: How has your family been dealing with the public nature of it?
Jason Mesnick: It's a little strange. I'm in L.A. right now, so I haven't been home during the finale. My family is very supportive. I even have messages from my old ex part of the family saying you did what you had to do and it was a really hard thing to do. [... ] It was what I decided to do, from the very beginning, the good, the bad and the ugly, and every single week, I broke up with people. And I hated doing that then. But it's what I decided to do from the very beginning. So my family's been really supportive. More than anything, they want me to be happy. Obviously I'm not happy with how people are perceiving me. I think people are judging most of all because this was on TV, but that's why everyone tuned in because it is on TV.
Q: What did your family say when you told them, "I proposed to Melissa but it's not working out and I want to be with Molly."
Jason Mesnick: Two things. Who cares what people are going to think about you? What's the alternative, living a lie? I was never going to do that. They just said if she really makes you happy you gotta go through and do the right thing.
Q: Molly, what has it been like for you to watch this whole situation unfold and having to deal with this emotionally?
Molly Malaney: I would say I'm a pretty logical person. I understand that I came on a show called "The Bachelor," there's 25 girls, things are going to happen. I even knew when I left New Zealand, I wasn't mad at Jason, I knew he had to make a choice between two people and at that point he thought he made the choice for him. Everything's in the past and we've moved on from it.
Q: When did you make the decision to say "Yes, we're fully back on"? I assume it wasn't right at the taping of "After the Final Rose."
Molly Malaney: No, it wasn't right away. We definitely had to have some serious discussions after all that. I needed to understand what happened with him and Melissa. I would say it was a couple weeks after we got past everything and got to a good place.
Q: So you decided to move to Seattle? When?
Molly Malaney: Eventually. It's not a matter of if. I definitely will move out there, but I think we're just going to try to take it slow, move at our own pace and adjust to being a couple in the real world first.
Q: Would you both go through this experience again?
Jason Mesnick: The only reason to do this is to find Molly. That's the only reason to do it.
Molly Malaney: I think the best advice I would give to anybody thinking about going through a situation like this is that you have to have incredibly tough skin. There's a lot of negativity that comes with doing something like this. But if you can get past that, which Jason and I have done a good job of doing, you have your family, your friends and Jason and I have each other. I can't regret anything I've done because I'm at a very good place in my life now.
Q: Molly, did you talk to your family when Jason came back around?
Molly Malaney: Oh yeah. I emphasized on the show how important my family is to me. I definitely wanted to keep them in the loop of what was going on. They were skeptical at first, they had the exact questions I had when I found out, but they love Jason and they see how happy he makes me so they're very supportive of all this.
Q: There've been a ton of rumors about the show for weeks now. How have you dealt with it?
Jason Mesnick: The one true thing that came out was I did have this change of heart. Everybody else started speculating the behind the scenes stuff, which is 100 percent false. and that's where a lot of these stories came from, speculation, and that's just disappointing.
Molly Malaney: People just think we're these characters on a TV show. We have families and we have jobs. People say awful, awful things and they don't realize how that can affect our real lives. At the end of the day, we just need to focus on what's important and that's our friends and families, and we have each other and really that's all that matters. So we're just trying to move on from all that.
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19 Comments
March 5th, 2009 8:58 AM
I'm so happy for them. Way to stick by each other! You'll go a long way by supporting each other and leaning on each other during all this. The "drama" will be over soon. Good luck to both of you.
Leah M
March 5th, 2009 10:20 AM
BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Who cares....they are both dummies and deserve eachother. Melissa should consider it a blessing that Jason let her off the hook!
March 5th, 2009 12:32 PM
Jason is nothing but an idiot. To do something like this on national tv was just a disgrace to Melissa. I thought Jason was a decent guy until that night and now I can't stand him and I couldn't stand Molly on the show either. I feel so bad for Melissa, she is such a nice girl.
March 5th, 2009 2:00 PM
First of all the whole thing is scripted, there's no such thing as 'real' reality tv. Of course they broke up before the taping and of course she knew it was coming, she had to wear the ring to make it more dramatic by giving it back. Chances are, he was with molly all along and they faked the proposal to melissa to get ratings and the whole part 1 and 2 was planned from the beginning. I mean, really, if he truly was sorry and he truly cared about hurting anyone, he would have broke up with her in private and not on national tv...its all planned and anyone who thinks otherwise is foolish. i dont think any parent would introduce to their 3 year old one woman as being their stepmom and have her spend holidays and then 6 weeks later turn around and introduce someone else, how confusing is that to anyone let alone a 3 year old...I just hope for his sake that this mess hasnt completing messed him up, forget the 'adults' in this situation, they signed a contract and got themselves in this...and were paid well for it too I imagine! Don't forget, the bachelor has to up the ante every year or it would just be the same ol boring scenerio with different actors every year...it keeps us watching and thats what they want...the more scandal, deceipt, lies, etc the more people tune in....we're just as pathetic
March 5th, 2009 3:43 PM
It doesn't matter if the producers of the Batchellor (which should be fired by abc) did the script...a person of character which Jason is far from it will never agree to. The smartest person of all including the producers, host, Jason and the girls is his FIRST WIFE who left him and it is easy to see why. The guy is completely bi-polar or paranoid and there is no excuse to what he did to Melissa but do not worry JASON. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!... You will not be happy stepping on people like that and as a matter of fact all the excuses you find a person that is grounded and with solid character traits will not buy them from you. It will be unappropriate to wish you happiness because I know you will not find it. But being the compasionate person that I am I wish God will show mercy on you! And for all the people that sympathize with you I wish them the same thing you did to Melissa only then they will have the best picture and will be able to assess the situation correctly!
March 5th, 2009 4:53 PM
Melissa knew she was getting "dumped" on National TV. She is no victim, she could have said she was not going to be on the After Rose Show knowing what was going to happen. But she KNEW and went on and went with it. Why is everyone attacking Jason for telling the truth? He could have lied and said it just wasn't working out, then started to sneak around with Molly for years. People changed their minds. We all do. I loved Melissa, I was rooting for her from the beginning, I thought she was perfect for him. I hate to see her sad about the break-up, but how do you think Molly felt when she was ALSO dumped on national TV (but without warning). These people signed up to be on the show, and showcase their love lives, the break-ups and all. And Millions of people still tuned in. Jason faced it like I man (yes real men change their minds and that does not make them bad people), and I am glad he has found happiness with Molly. Best of luck to Jason and Molly and Melissa (and her new boyfriend she is now dating). I hope you all can ignore all the negative stuff everyone says, these nay-sayers just must not have exciting enough lives of their own that they have to rank you and post "anonymously" all day on blogs and websites (yes, I am included in this category at times too! lol) . Honesty.
March 5th, 2009 6:14 PM
hi jason
you did the right thing you followed your heart and less face it melissa did not take long to fall in love again so you would have been hurt all over again good luck to you both love to be there at your wedding
March 5th, 2009 7:01 PM
I'm furious about the outcome of the show. I'm not upset about Jason changing his mind, he should be with the person that makes him happy; but, my frustration is more so about the way he handled the situation. I don’t usually get into the show; however, while watching an episode of the bachelorette, I was enamored by Jason, his sincerity and his love for his child, he seemed genuine. I was rooting for him and when it didn’t work out with Deanna and he was hurt, it was heartbreaking. I was thrilled to see him get another opportunity and step up as the bachelor because of the fact that he was such a stand up guy.
I understand people will get their hearts broken on the show; however, the show is about falling in love and building a life together afterwards. Once Jason gave Melissa the ring it was the final step in breaking down her defenses. Anything that happened in the following weeks was between them and if he really cared about hurting her, he would not have handled it so insignificantly on national television. If it were a staged event then fine, Melissa knew what she was in for and they put on a show; but, if it wasn’t staged as they claim, then I am disgusted at Jason’s lack of regard for Melissa’s feelings. If he cared for her as much as he claims, he would’ve discussed the situation and determined how it should be handled at that point with the public. He could have just as easily told Melissa how he felt about Molly before the show so that they could come to the show making a mutual decision to terminate the engagement; instead he humiliated her and was making out with Molly within a matter of minutes on national television. At this point it’s real life, the actual show was over weeks prior. I understand that when you’re on the bachelor you have the opportunity to kiss multiple women at the same time but in real life you don’t break up with one person that you’ve declared your love for, break their heart, turn around and make out with another person in front of them and expect them and everyone that witnessed this lack of regard for that other person to see you as a kind, compassionate person of high integrity. The fact that Jason has nothing but positive things to say about Melissa makes it even more distasteful knowing that she did nothing to warrant Jason's disregard for her personal wellbeing. Knowing how difficult it is being that 2nd person on the show; the “loser” per say of a competition, I am just so disheartened that he would make her even more vulnerable by giving her the ring and telling her that he loved her only to turn around and humiliate her. I think that Melissa handled herself with the highest level of integrity, she was dignified and rational and I’m very proud of her for her reaction. As I listen to Jason state over and over that he did what he had to do and he handled it with integrity, I simply see a fake, self-righteous, pompous jerk that fooled a lot of people and probably deserved the heartbreak he claims to have suffered in the past. I think that Molly and Jason deserve each other because they both made fools of themselves with the way they behaved during the After the Rose Show!
March 5th, 2009 8:35 PM
Omg, whatever! Princess Molly wins again or should I say Princes Igor...
What Jason did was wrong-wrong-wrong and stop trying to sugar coat it people.
I don't care if those 2 fall of the face of the earth.
March 5th, 2009 10:50 PM
I think that it would be far worse if Jason just swept his feelings under the rug, when he knew things weren't right. It was better to be honestly and truthful. Sometimes the truth hurts, and it's just not what you want to hear.
It would have been 100 times worse if he would have waited until they were married to deal with his real feelings.
This situation is unique, there is not guidance for or road map to follow when you have a unique situation
Ultimately it's about doing what is right for you, and in turn that will be right for the other person.
Meliss's life will be better because he chose to be honest and up front about his feelings.
I personally know someone who was on the show, and they told me it wasn't scripted. It was real and honest and people really developed feelings.
Jason had to sign a contract to have his love life publicised. The good and the bad, he had to show on TV. So while people say it wasn't "classy". He made that agreement.
Regardless, if you face the facts...it is much better to be honest and tell how you feel instead of just letting it escalate to a point where it's too late.