The Hollywood Gossip's recap of The Bachelor is a rundown of our favorite (and least favorite) moments, with points awarded or deducted as we see fit. Last night, the four women took Jason to their hometowns. Let's get to it ...
Plus 5 for ABC subtly plugging Dancing with the Stars via Jillian Harris' mom's take on relationships: "Life is a dance and you learn as you go."
Minus 4 for Jillian literally mixing her cliches: "I literally catapulted off the couch. It was like a total cherry on the top of a perfect day."
In Michigan, Molly Malaney's dad offered her the best Guns n' Roses-themed advice of the evening: don't cry. Simple, yet profound. Plus 11. (Jillian's mom blew a chance to warn her about getting caught in November Rain... again.)
The Malaney hat box was great, too, leaving both Jason and Molly momentarily mortified. Plus 4. And Plus 3 more for Molly's adorable argyle sweater!
Minus 4 for mimosas in a Thermos. It's just weird, Naomi. But not as much as referring to Jason Mesnick as her "potential future husband" three times in 90 seconds.
Hector: There's just one God. Joanne: There are multiple lifetimes. Mmm. Minus 12 because this awkwardness sealed Naomi's fate long before the Rose Ceremony.
Canada's Jillian Harris was the big winner of the night, while Jason Mesnick received a bit of a surprise when Melissa Rycroft said her parents would not be participating.
A surprising Plus 13 for Melissa Rycroft's parents declining to participate on the show. No offense to Melissa for her decision to go on The Bachelor - thank goodness she did! - but you have to admire her folks' stance in a way.
Minus 5 at the same time, though, because they could support their daughter a little. They didn't even go to games when she was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader? Her surprisingly low self-esteem for a girl so gorgeous makes sense now.
Plus 6 for Jason Mesnick keeping Melissa around in spite of this setback. Besides, her family's no-show still leaves them light years ahead of Naomi's family. Let's hear it for victory by omission! You wonder if Melissa Rycroft heard how Naomi's date went, decided she already had a rose in the bag and told her parents not to bother.
Obligatory Plus 3 for Chris Harrison and his dashing good looks.
A brief discussion of next week's previews: New Zealand? Really? Jealous. Plus 4. OMG, is there some doubt about Jason and Molly's chemistry? Minus 7. Okay, did Melissa not tell her folks she was even going on the show? Minus 2. Finally, re: DeAnna Pappas' return - if we're supposed to believe what we saw (and it's not ABC having a field day with us), DeAnna tells Jason she made a mistake - and he still has a chance with her?! Minus 13, because we don't buy it ... but totally Plus 35 because that would be, as Chris Harrison's voiceover says, "the most shocking twist in Bachelor history."
TOTAL: +36! A quick list of who's in and out on The Bachelor...
Roses received at ceremony: Molly, Melissa, Jillian.
Given the Heave-Ho By Jason Mesnick: Naomi.