The Bachelor Recap: A Shocker in New Zealand

by at . Comments

The Hollywood Gossip's recap of The Bachelor is a rundown of our favorite (and least favorite) moments, with points awarded or deducted as we see fit.

Last night, the three women accompanied Jason Mesnick to New Zealand - where he made a surprise choice in which one he sent home. Let's get to it ...

Jason Mesnick, DeAnna Pappas Photo

Plus 10 for New Zealand. Jealous.

Jason took Jillian to the edge of a cliff and said: "It was just the two of us. There was no one else around for miles and miles..." Minus 5 for ABC's boom mic guy getting in the way of Jason completing that thought.

This week's special feature: Plus 1 for every boring euphemism for sex the writers can come up with. So far: Spend the night together. Connect physically. Handle all this fire. See the passion. Time alone. This week's total: Plus 5!

Sweet mother of ... Jason actually pulled the Titanic card and proceeded to spread his arms in an I'm-the-king-of-the-world sort of way. Minus Infinity.

Jason on the suite card: It was "from Chris to give to me to give to her..." Minus 5. Not as romantic to acknowledge the pimp-like role Chris Harrison plays in all this. But Plus 12 for the pimp-like role Chris Harrison plays in all this.

Despite giving off the impression that she's forcing it and isn't quite sure why she's there, Molly Malaney stuns Jillian for the second rose and earns a place in the finals! Could it be that less enthusiasm and insanity is more? Plus 11.

Melissa Rycroft just wants her parents to see how happy Jason makes her? Their dates are being FILMED! Minus 3, because that makes no sense, and Minus 6 more for the obvious overplaying of the parental absence for two weeks now.

The picture frames of the girls Jason gazes upon contain the same promotional stock pics we use on this site! You can't get any other candid photos, ABC? Minus 4.

Plus 5 for Melissa's video, because it is by far the most sincere and least awkward. On a related note, Jillian refers to Jason as "babe" in hers, while Molly goes with "J" and Melissa the ever-annoying "you." Minus 1 for Jillian and Melissa.

"Dude, when you're 90, you want to be with your best friend." - Jillian Harris. We know you're all laid back and cool and Canadian, Jill, but never start a sentence with "dude" and expect to be taken seriously. Minus 8.

Minus 7 for Jillian for making up that dream about Ty after getting eliminated. Just move on, girl. Sorry, that was mean. Bad us. Minus 5 for our staff.

Finally, Plus 30 for the melodramatic setup to the "shocking" finale and the "intimate" After the Final Rose special to follow. What happened is so emotional ... that we've decided to keep it as intimate as possible. What does that even mean?

Oh, and Plus 16 for that great deleted scene with Jason and Molly in the tub, with their microphones malfunctioning. We imagine 98 percent of the show is like this.

TOTAL: -Infinity, +47! A quick list of who's in and out on The Bachelor...

Roses received at ceremony: Molly, Melissa.

Booted By Jason Mesnick: Jillian.

Tags: , , , , , ,

The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]
×