Because our standard weekly recaps are clearly not enough to quench your thirst for The Bachelor gossip, commentary and insight, The Hollywood Gossip's own Bachelor Babe will be sharing her thoughts on each exciting episode with us, as well.
Here's her take on Jason Mesnick and his beautiful, totally unscripted New Zealand dates with the remaining trio of suitors...
Well hello there, Jason - nice first shot of you standing on a rock in the middle of the New Zealand ocean. I can tell you're serious by your words: "I know my wife is one of those three girls."
We're in for a solemn night, I can tell already. Nothing like the dead doves from last week.
Jason and Jillian "soar to new heights," according to the announcer, but any faithful watcher knows this isn't true - he's soared to various heights in a blimp with Melissa, on a tour of Vegas with the blonde girl whose name I can't even remember, and with Naomi in an "extreme" rock gym. Not to mention the 12-hour flight to New Zealand with Melissa, Molly and Jillian.
We're watching you too, Announcer. You can't get away with stuff like this.
I know this was already covered here on THG, but I can't help but comment on it myself: According to Jason, "it was just the two of us" on the cliff overlooking New Zealand.
Awww so sweet! Our little Jason is so lovestruck that he can't even remember all the other people that are there! Like the pilot, and the cameramen, and the producers, and the microphone guy, and the script writers... oh wait.
I'll tell you who wasn't on the helicopter with the cozy couple: the wardrobe people. Nice plaid, flannel shirts guys. This isn't 1995. Script writers were DEFINITELY on board, though, there's no way Jason could come up with "We're standing on the edge of a cliff, and so is our relationship," and "I mean, is it too much to ask for the world?"
On his second date, Jason takes Molly to a bridge where they can see "the best view in New Zealand," and then bungee jump off of it. The third wheel (darn script writers) come, too, evidenced by Molly making metaphorical comments about how jumping off a bridge is kind of like the big leap of jumping into a relationship. Wait, that's a simile, but "simile-al comments" doesn't work.
Those script writers are professionals! Can't they coach Molly with better lines than that!?!??!
Even better, after the bungee is finished, Molly wants to do this exciting, climactic, orgasmic event again. Give you any thoughts for later Jason??? I thought so.
At dinner, Molly has a list of questions for Jason. She has sort of a cute point: how can you marry someone if you don't know basic things like their morning routine?
This girl is thinking ahead to when she wakes up engaged after only knowing a guy for six weeks, while having a camera crew and script writers follow you around the whole time. It would be like waking up next to a stranger (unless you knew their fav ice cream flavor, then it's normal).
Wow Molls - that's initiative on asking him to stay the night with you. Glad it worked out for you. Would have made hilarious TV if he said no though...
My first thought: Why is Winston Churchill's boat in New Zealand? Why isn't it in England? Anyone else think that? Am I the only one?
After the boat ride, Jason gets Melissa Rycroft out of her clothes right away - and into the hot pools they go. This date isn't that interesting - they talk about her family pretty much the whole time, and then she goes back to the fantasy suite with him where she tells him she loves him.
I think you're moving a little fast Melissa - no wonder you've always been the dumpee. There's a pretty good chance you scare normal guys away. But it seems to be working for you in this case.
Where do these girls get so many dresses?? Do they let them go shopping during this? Is there like a Sarah Palin budget to keep the girls looking cute for the good of the show??
Meanwhile: my mom chimes in, via Instant Message, with the following insight: Melissa is like Las Vegas, fun for a few days; Molly is like New York, you could have fun forever! She also told me a dead dove was sitting in our refrigerator.
With two weeks remaining until the finale, all want to know where these girls get their clothes, we all want to know when DeAnna is FINALLY coming back, and we all have to agree that on some level (with their jobs, mostly) my mom is sort of right:
Mel is a cheerleader and Molly is in fashion: you can't get much more Las Vegas and NY than that.