Tonight's episode of The Bachelor features two hours of behind-the-scenes drama and hot-seat interviews with Jason Mesnick and more than a dozen vanquished women, including Jillian Harris, from this 13th season of the reality show.
Given The Bachelor spoilers everyone is talking about, this should be an interesting prelude to the "shocking" and "intimate" season finale(s) next week.
Oh, who are we kidding, we're totally going to watch. Better yet, we'll share our commentary with you throughout, and encourage you to do the same.
Refresh your browser every few minutes during the show - starting at 8 - to read our thoughts on The Bachelor, and leave comments of your own below!
Let's get to it, shall we ...
8:01 ... Free Britney: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand The Bachelor: The Women Tell Very Little and Only What ABC Feeds Them Via Cue Cards All is officially underway!
8:05 ... Hilton Hater: It's official: the Oscar telecast was shorter than this recap.
8:06 ... jillian_fan: How is it even possible that these women actually fall in love with him in such a short time. I hate how they all say "I love you."
8:07 ... Hilton Hater: The reunion show we won't wanna miss? We're already watching! Stop shilling for half a second, Chris!
8:10 ... Free Britney: Chris Harrison is a god.
8:12 ... jillian_fan: Jason is like, "Who was Megan again?"
8:13 ... Free Britney: The first highlight of the whole damn season is Jason's visit to the set of General Hospital? Give it up for cross-promotional marketing!
8:15 ... Hilton Hater: I'm sorry, ABC, did you just say Stephanie coped with her husband's death via The Bachelorette???
8:17 ... Hilton Hater: Can someone send the dove's wife a copy of last season's Bachelorette?
8:18 ... Hilton Hater: The lame joke store called, Chris ...
8:19 ... Free Britney: First base with Molly in the tent? That's it? I feel as if all of those crazy moaning sex noises must have been edited in or something ...
8:23 ... Hilton Hater: Golfing date with Molly? Insert obvious hole in one joke here.