The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest 67

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Welcome, celebrity gossip fans, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, a Friday tradition, now in its 67th week. How does one play the Caption Contest?

This week's contest - featuring an American Idol that needs no introduction - was won by Alan Hochbaum. Congratulations! Thanks to all for playing this week!

Spaula

What's the matter Simon? Not Randy?

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i dont like simon but it was cute

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Simon,move your hand! You know how the National Enqirer is!

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Jesus,Paula,try a tic-tac!

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What's the matter Simon? Not Randy?

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paula thinking: I hope he can't smell that little fart I did
simon thinking: geez I knew those nachos were a bad idea for her

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I would never be this close to you if I wasn't getting paid so much.

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Simon: Please get off me.
Paula: I need a drink.

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S: Two bloody million a year to tear apart total hacks? Hard to beat that.
P: Mental high-five.

American Idol Quotes

Brooke White's tears come from the authentic, good soul that she is. Her heart was breaking because she was overwhelmed with the experience she had with the show and the gift that it brought.

Paula Abdul [after Brooke White was eliminated on season seven]

I read some of this online this morning and just for the record, the rumors — they’re not true. She’s part of our family and we love her.

Ryan Seacrest [on rumor of Paula Abdul being drunk on the show]