The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest 64

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Welcome, celebrity gossip fans, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, a Friday tradition, now in its 63rd week. Who won this week's Caption Contest?

A picture of R&B crooner / part-time bizarre sex act star R. Kelly is destined to make it challenging to choose a winner. But we picked kris. Congratulations!

5... 5 dollar... 5 dollar FOOT LONG!!

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Sure I can pee on a girl through a hole this size. Please, make it at least some kind of a challenge.

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5...5 dollar...5 dollar FOOT LONG!!

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i want a big mac this big...mhm i'm loving it

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I left a piss puddle on her thiiiiis wide.....

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I like um this BIG! Double D's Baby!!!!!!!!

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Seriously I can stretch my ass THIS wide

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[insert rack here]

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To All Teenage Girls (and some boys): Be prepared; I am THIS big!

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It's not a fun sex act unless you soak the girl with this much urine!

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I'm into girls about this size. Seriously. Like 5-year-olds.