The Bachelor Recap: Tears, Pool Parties & Blimp Blunders

by at . Comments

The Hollywood Gossip's weekly recap of The Bachelor cannot begin without two points: 1. Jason Mesnick shirtless, and in slow motion, needs to be a focal point of every episode, and 2. Can anyone stop Molly Malaney?

The Michigan native emerged as a favorite in our minds last night with a powerful, yet nuanced performance. Below is our official (highly editorialized) recap of some of the highlights and lowlights from last night's episode:

Jason Mesnick, Molly Mesnick

Sorry, Natalie, but the first tears of the season earn you Minus 4.

Plus 5 for Lauren's optimism. Not picked for the first one-on-one date? Good. She wouldn't have had time to do her hair anyway!

Minus 29 for Robin Thicke. As if having the song "Magic" introduced at the 2008 Miss Universe pageant wasn't bad enough.

Plus 11 for ABC. From the slow motion unveiling of a Jason Mesnick naked torso to panning up Nikki's cleavage-revealing dress as he uttered "You've got amazing qualities... and they're obvious," a top notch job by the editing team.

Melissa earns a Minus 3 for lying. You've never seen a blimp before? Really?!? Which Dallas Cowboys team did you cheerlead for?

Minus 5 for Stephanie's eyebrows and forehead. Downright freakish.

Plus 33 for the night's clear MVP, the aforementioned Molly. This midwestern beauty managed to show off her smooching skills in front of other contestants, earn a rose, steal Jason Mesnick away from Megan later that night... and cause two separate cat fights between four competitors as a result of her actions!

Naomi earned a Minus 7 for the least sincere, and least smooth, move of the night. After confusing Jason with her speech about how they'll always be good friends, she followed up a hug with the question, "Can friends kiss?" No, they really can't.

Most accurate quote of the night: "Going to a store and being told 'Go Crazy.' It was like the mother ship calling me home." Plus 5 for Natalie's honesty.

Favorite blimp-related quote of the episode: "We've seen L.A. in a way probably no one has ever seen L.A. before." You're very special, Jason, with that six-pack and that cute three-year old son. But you and Melissa weren't the Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin of blimp-riding. Minus 1.

TOTAL +5! If the names and faces blend together and confuse you, as they do us, see below for the official list of who's in and who's out on The Bachelor...

Roses received: Jillian, Melissa, Molly (pre-rose ceremony); Megan, Nikki, Lauren, Naomi, Stephanie, Kari, Natalie, Shannon, Erica (rose ceremony).

Axed by Jason Mesnick: Raquel, Sharon.

Left for personal reasons: Lisa.

Tags: ,
Avatar

Why on earth would anyone wish Deanna on Jason? Her picking Jesse was a blessing because Jason has a shot of picking someone who can love him and his son unconditionally.
Although Melissa and Molly are cute and bubbly, I think Jillian is a great choice. She has a simple beauty, and seems kind, mature, and unselfish. No drama with her. She seems so laid back and does not sweat the small stuff. She would make an excellent step mom.
That is just my opinion. If you were to put a blonde wig on Melissa, she could be Jessica Simpson twin sister.

Avatar

I have lots of favorites . first off i wish deanna would come back and steal jason but that prob. wont happen. but i do like millissa and molly . and i like megan but she can be mean sometimes and i think jason deserves some1 like deanna naomi looks kind of like deanna so maybe her.

Avatar

I agree with the whole assessment except for one small detail: i think Jillian was the clear winner of the episode. I guess whoever your favorite is is who you'll read more into.

The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]