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The NHL sucks.

We apologize to its 12 fans, but don’t even try defending this logic (it’s even sillier than putting hockey franchises in Arizona, Texas and Florida):

The league allows fights – serious, punch-the-hell-out-of-the-other-guy fights – with only five-minute penalties assessed to the participants.

But call your opponent’s girlfriend your “sloppy seconds,” well, don’t even think about that! The NHL draws the line there. Enjoy your next strike, morons.

Yes, the NHL suspended one of its most notorious players, Sean Avery of the Dallas Stars, for talking trash to the new player dating his ex-girlfriend.

His ex, of course, is actress of Elisha Cuthbert.

Elisha Cuthbert used to date Sean Avery. And be kind of famous.

Cuthbert’s new boyfriend, Dion Phaneuf, plays for the Calgary Flames – and during a practice session in Calgary this week, Sean Avery said the following:

“I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds,” he told the media.

“I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.”

Avery is suspended indefinitely pending a hearing with NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. Elisha Cuthbert and Dion Phaneuf have not commented.