The Hills Recap: YOU Did This!

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Best. Episode. Ever. The Hills was in rare form last night, and our recap, as always, will consist of our staff awarding and deducting points as it sees fit.

Holly Montag is still, like, totally sad about the way things went down with Heidi. Spencer is still a jerk. Meanwhile, Audrina thinks Lauren hooked up with Justin-Bobby - and both J-Bobby and LC are far from pleased about her accusations.

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

Audrina tells Chiara that Dino (Dina?) told her about the Lauren-Justin hookup. Minus 2 because Audzo has no friends with normal names, and Minus 3 more for the "detail" of the hookup she refers to not being explained. Peeps wanna know!

Would anyone be surprised if Lo Bosworth started the rumor? That would be classic, diabolical Lo. But she sort of said nothing throughout. Minus 1.

Spencer Pratt calls Holly Montag "Little Miss Traitor." Plus 4, because he probably could think up a much better nickname/insult, but we all know he's lazy.

Heidi has been relegated to a cubicle at work, rather than the posh office she used to have. After her fake firing, of course. Plus 7 for the general ridiculousness of this, and Plus 2 more for Spencer smirking about it when she complains.

We rant about the lag between real time events and The Hills so much it's passe, but this episode aired a few hours after we learned about Heidi and Spencer eloping. They're married! It's hard to take minor fight #378 as seriously now. Minus 2.

It's hard to tell what bugs Lauren Conrad more - being the subject of a false rumor, or that said rumor involved her and a revolting human being. As IF! Plus 4.

Audrina Patridge leaves a rambling, pathetic, borderline-stalker voicemail for Justin. Minus 4 for her being such a loser. Somehow, Justin-Bobby was the more collected, mature individual at the bar later. Didn't see that coming. Plus 7.

Anybody else missing Brody Jenner? Just asking. Minus 2.

The editing of the Audrina-Lauren drama was a bit off. LC is never shown denying the hookup, yet we learn later that both she and J-Bob did so initially. It's like we're being manipulated and this "reality" show isn't 100 percent real. Minus 3.

Minus 3 for the staged Stephanie Pratt scene in which she's clearly being fed lines. But Plus 6 for the similar Casey Patridge scene, because she tells it like it is.

Finally, it comes out: Lauren Conrad said she'd "rather die" than hook up with Justin-Bobby, who's "disgusting." She said this to Audrina's face. Wow. Plus 14 for the utter harshness, honesty, buildup and inevitability of that statement. And Plus 3 more for "You're way worse than Heidi." Talk about adding insult to injury!

TOTAL: +27. Vintage Hills. Bravo, all. Leave a comment with your own scores!

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Audrina is a few slices short of a baloney sandwich....talk about DENSE!!! Wouldn't surprise me at all if Lo was the one that started the "rumor" about LC & JustinBobby. Lo is still on the outside looking on and it drives her nuts!

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OMG! I used to love audrina the best, 'cause she was always so rational about things, but this stuff is amazing, she behave like the worst friend, like lauren said, worst than heidi, and all because of a guy that it isn´t worth it, why would audrina won't believe the both of them when they say no??? how could she believe this? it's crazy!, anyone that knows lc knows she wouldn't do that, first because she hates jb and because she is kind of a good friend, and audrina who knows lc more than I do, believes this??? The first time I heard this rumor I laugh 'cause I thought It was a joke, but now that I see this, I'm in shock! I no longer like audrina, I now understand why she stays out of trouble... 'cause when she's in trouble is in BIG trouble!!! hate audrina!!!!!

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YES...I AM MISSING BRODY JENNER!!!!
THE SHOW IS NOT WORTH WATCHING WITHOUT HIS GORGEOUS FACE!!!

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-9 for Heidi's "cube" at work and everyone mentioning it when her whole firing was so fake as it is

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+75 for Justin Bobby's first ever well articulated statements. HE (the person she's currently obsessed with) expressed how stupid Audrina has become. She doesn't listen to Lauren or her sister so maybe she'll listen to him. LC is right. She's so into Spencer her mind is becoming warped. LC and JB both denied it several times and she's still asking people! Go JB for calling immaturity how you see it! -2 for "Dino" disappearing.

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LOL when justin is criticizing your relationship ettiquette you know you have issues

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Could Spencer have orchestrated this nasty LC/Justin-Bobby rumor....we know how he loves to start trouble?

Lauren Conrad Biography

Lauren Conrad and New Boyfriend? A Laguna Beach alumna, the gorgeous Lauren Conrad has gone on to be the star of its spin-off series, The Hills. Back in her high school... More »
Born
Birthplace
Laguna Beach, California
Full Name
Lauren Katherine Conrad

Lauren Conrad Quotes

Someone with a great sense of humor is the most important thing, and someone who really supports me in everything I do... I don’t ever want to make an excuse for trying to work hard and having my own life. I love a guy that supports that and loves that.

Lauren Conrad [on men]

I don’t feel girly without long hair! There is something so sexy about having long blonde hair. It’s so feminine.

Lauren Conrad