The Hills Recap: YOU Did This!

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Best. Episode. Ever. The Hills was in rare form last night, and our recap, as always, will consist of our staff awarding and deducting points as it sees fit.

Holly Montag is still, like, totally sad about the way things went down with Heidi. Spencer is still a jerk. Meanwhile, Audrina thinks Lauren hooked up with Justin-Bobby - and both J-Bobby and LC are far from pleased about her accusations.

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

Audrina tells Chiara that Dino (Dina?) told her about the Lauren-Justin hookup. Minus 2 because Audzo has no friends with normal names, and Minus 3 more for the "detail" of the hookup she refers to not being explained. Peeps wanna know!

Would anyone be surprised if Lo Bosworth started the rumor? That would be classic, diabolical Lo. But she sort of said nothing throughout. Minus 1.

Spencer Pratt calls Holly Montag "Little Miss Traitor." Plus 4, because he probably could think up a much better nickname/insult, but we all know he's lazy.

Heidi has been relegated to a cubicle at work, rather than the posh office she used to have. After her fake firing, of course. Plus 7 for the general ridiculousness of this, and Plus 2 more for Spencer smirking about it when she complains.

We rant about the lag between real time events and The Hills so much it's passe, but this episode aired a few hours after we learned about Heidi and Spencer eloping. They're married! It's hard to take minor fight #378 as seriously now. Minus 2.

It's hard to tell what bugs Lauren Conrad more - being the subject of a false rumor, or that said rumor involved her and a revolting human being. As IF! Plus 4.

Audrina Patridge leaves a rambling, pathetic, borderline-stalker voicemail for Justin. Minus 4 for her being such a loser. Somehow, Justin-Bobby was the more collected, mature individual at the bar later. Didn't see that coming. Plus 7.

Anybody else missing Brody Jenner? Just asking. Minus 2.

The editing of the Audrina-Lauren drama was a bit off. LC is never shown denying the hookup, yet we learn later that both she and J-Bob did so initially. It's like we're being manipulated and this "reality" show isn't 100 percent real. Minus 3.

Minus 3 for the staged Stephanie Pratt scene in which she's clearly being fed lines. But Plus 6 for the similar Casey Patridge scene, because she tells it like it is.

Finally, it comes out: Lauren Conrad said she'd "rather die" than hook up with Justin-Bobby, who's "disgusting." She said this to Audrina's face. Wow. Plus 14 for the utter harshness, honesty, buildup and inevitability of that statement. And Plus 3 more for "You're way worse than Heidi." Talk about adding insult to injury!

TOTAL: +27. Vintage Hills. Bravo, all. Leave a comment with your own scores!

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i do not feel bad for audrinA she kept goin back to justin and cor once he made sense she is crazy to believe that about lauren i used to like audrina but she annoyed me with this crap her and lauren will only remaiun friends for the show and when its done lauren will get away from her

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Angie #11, I totally agree with you, it was very mean of LC to say those things aout JB but ma gal had tp drive the point home. Audrina is so stupid and believe her BS hype. I want Audrina to get a brain and show us who Dino is and what those funky disgusting details are!!! I love how JB acted, he really surprised me.

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I feel really bad for Audrina, she is so lost and takes out her confusion on those closest to her. You guys need to grow some compassion and not hate her, but sympathize with her.

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Audrina - just because you find him irresistible doesn't mean anyone else does.

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yeah spencer started the rumour cause he has got no life and no friends

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10 out of 10. Justin Bobby looked fabulous with the 50's look. Audrina sunk to unimagined depths of desperation, it was wonderful. LC was a bitch, but totally justified for once. Her acting skills have improved dramatically, and she was great in this episode. Lo said little and schemed, but looked good. Likewise Stephanie P. I only hope Spencer is behind this rumor, because he's not working hard enough this season to keep us entertained. Lying on the couch and inane insults won't keep up the ratings.

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I’m also totally on team Lauren. I mean come on…Audrina’s accusations were totally cruel and crazy. I understand that she’s upset and the guy that told her stuff was supposedly being “sincere�, but to treat Lauren like that and say the things she said were just wrong. Another thing…I’m not a fan of Justin, but the things Lauren said about him were pretty mean and uncalled for. Even if he is “unhygienic� and “disgusting�, to say those things to Audrina just to make a point was going too far. We didn’t hear Justin attack Lauren in any way, I don’t think he judges people or gets affected by the Hollywood drama. I guess I just expected more from Lauren. Anyways, I think it would be really tough for Lauren and Audrina to be friends again. They’ve lost too much trust in each other. Maybe it’s just time for them to go their separate ways…

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+100 for the total drama...but I actually do think something materialized between LC and JB..am I the only one? extra +10 for Heidi's new cubicle....see the karma for the crap she pulled on Elody!

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omg lauren and jb ewww thank god it isnt true how eww

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........and one more thing........Heidi and Spencer make me want to puke! Heidi has had way to much plastic surgery and does Spencer do anything other then sit on his couch and make rude comments to anyone and everyone around him!!!!

Lauren Conrad Biography

Lauren Conrad and New Boyfriend? A Laguna Beach alumna, the gorgeous Lauren Conrad has gone on to be the star of its spin-off series, The Hills. Back in her high school... More »
Born
Birthplace
Laguna Beach, California
Full Name
Lauren Katherine Conrad

Lauren Conrad Quotes

Someone with a great sense of humor is the most important thing, and someone who really supports me in everything I do... I don’t ever want to make an excuse for trying to work hard and having my own life. I love a guy that supports that and loves that.

Lauren Conrad [on men]

I don’t feel girly without long hair! There is something so sexy about having long blonde hair. It’s so feminine.

Lauren Conrad