The Hills Recap: One Last Chance

by at . Comments

As usual, THG's recap of The Hills will consist of us grading last night's episode, awarding or deducting points for the best and worst moments.

Scandalously, Holly Montag moved in with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth, resulting in some choice remarks from Team Speidi. Whitney kept in touch with Jay, and Audrina (for the 394th straight week) pondered her future with Justin-Bobby.

Mrs. Spencer Pratt

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

Holly Montag moving in with Lauren Conrad when there are 10 trillion sublet options in L.A. seems absurdly fake, but Minus only 2 because it's not that big a stretch to believe LC would extend Holly the offer to passive-aggressively stick it to Heidi.

In Venice, Justin-Bobby philosophizes that there is something "Zen-ful" about the beach. Holy hell, this guy must smoke SO much weed. Plus 9.

Spencer leaves to "go enjoy life." Minus 3, because we all know he only enjoys life when wreaking havoc on The Hills or staging photo shoots.

No Brody Jenner again. This is disappointing to us, because we have a slight crush on Brody, but then again the man has been traveling with Jayde Nicole. We wouldn't be on The Hills either if that were the alternative. Plus 3.

Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge laugh about how they "attract trouble" when they go out. Minus 5, because it's not that noteworthy - they get paid to, and a decent amount of said trouble is manufactured or at least embellished by MTV.

Casey Patridge calls out Justin-Bobby for his crap and Audrina for her excuses. Plus 3 for Casey's honesty, but Minus 5 because Audrina obviously doesn't listen, and Minus another 1 for Casey's tats. A little too much tramp stampage for us.

LC says of Spencer, "He drives away everyone that cares about her." Yes. Yes he does. So astute on her part, and so entertaining on his. Plus 4.

Sam Nazarian simply "doesn't get" the Spencer thing. He's not alone. Plus 2.

Spencer Pratt is happy Heidi will be back at work and not "moping around" at home anymore. Plus 3, because he wants that lifestyle all to himself.

Justin-Bobby gives Audrina a t-shirt as a present, then adds, "No bras with that thing, thank you." Wow. Minus 7, because not only is J-Bobby the biggest d!ck ever, but with those fake boobs, Audzo doesn't need bras for ANY outfit!

Plus 10 for the whole "stalker mom" exchange. Follow the link to peep the video of this segment if you missed, it's vintage Speidi.

TOTAL: +11. Pretty entertaining all around. Leave a comment with your own!

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Like Us On Facebook

More From The Hollywood Gossip

Lauren-conrad-basic

Lauren Conrad: Allure Called Me "Basic B!tch" With Sausage Curls!

Lauren Conrad is anything but basic - to us - but Allure apparently views her as somewhat less exceptional than THG's editorial department.
Paris-hilton-come-alive

7 Celebrities Who Mistakenly Think They Can Sing

These seven stars can't really sing. But that hasn't stopped them from trying.
Julianne-hough-naked

Stars in Stars (and Stripes): America the Very Beautiful!

See stars in stars via this photo gallery. And also stars in stripes.
Classic-spencer-and-heidi

Heidi Montag: Celebrity Wife Swap Let Me Be Authentic, Want Kids (Seriously)!

Celebrity Wife Swap allowed Heidi Montag to show the world her true self for the first time, the reality star says in a new interview.

Avatar

Tyra Banks She isnt attractive and her show makes me sick she acts like she cares, but shes fake and you can tell by the way she retacs to the concerns of her guests. (sister watches it)Soulja Boy Kid needs to eat a dick, He cant write lyrics..his DJ's need the credit not himLady GaGa I write lyrics and knowing that her (along with a lot of others) Get record deals cuz they're born into a rich family really pisses me off. Her lyrics are awful, and her hair looks retarded.

Avatar

No sympathy for that girl, she is how old and can't leave someone who only drags her down? She is a big girl and doesn't need anyone to tell her what to do. She needs to open her eyes and see the way he treats and talks about her. Like she is a dog, WAKE UP GIRL. Time to live your life

Avatar

oh the loathing I have for this couple.. I wish they'd disappear into deep dark holes!

Avatar

I cannot believe that Heidi just doesn't get it. She is living with a loser, of course she's smart enough so she deserves every aggravation Spencie boy hands out to her.

Avatar

This show has had it's day. I used to love Heidi because she was so full of energy and conversational. Now she sits there while Spencer ranks on her family. What sister moves in with an x friend, and what other sister doesn't react with total anger? It's weird. Audrina, used to love her but at this point, she is a big old loser with justin bobby. And as always Lauren brings nothing to the conversational table. Big eyes, a pout and then roll the eyes, and then cover her mouth with her hand, she is all gestures no juice. So beyond boring I still can't figure out why Kristin Cavallari doesn't have her own show, now she was a spit fire and so very interesting. I give Lauren th who business woman thing, she has made her self into a celebrity, so clearly she is a smart business woman.