The Hills Recap: It's Her Move

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As usual, THG's recap of The Hills will consist of us grading last night's episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

This week, Audrina Patridge decides to move to her own place, where she hopes she'll be able to rekindle the passion with Justin-Bobby. Yes, really. LC is sad to see her go. Lo? Not as much. Elsewhere, Heidi Montag drinks on the job and gets fired.

Crystal Balling

On to the rankings!

LC worried how Audrina's move would affect their relationship: “It was just so quick. It was literally like, ‘By the way, I’m going to move like right now.’ She’ll always be my friend. We’ll see, though.” Yup, typical LC. Plus 3.

“It’s not the end of the story,” Lauren Conrad reiterated later. “It’s just to be continued.” The writers feeding her these lines need to be fired. Minus 2.

Audrina's sister, Casey Patridge, is like a regular Kat Von D! Plus 3.

Justin-Bobby has never been one to open up. Or speak in complete sentences.

Audrina sort of asks Justin-Bobby to move in with this pathetic line: “I don’t know if I want to live by myself. Would you want to move in? Maybe?” His reply: “You know, just let it happen. We’ll see what happens.” Wow on both. Even.

You know Lo is totally excited that Audrina's moving out. Plus 7.

No mention of how she affords this ridiculous place - by being a psuedo-celebrity - which goes for pretty much everything and everyone on The Hills. Minus 4.

Whitney Port gives us an absolutely tremendous o-face. As in O-MG! Plus 1.

Sam Nazarian, looking for his partner Brent Bolthouse at the restaurant opening, asked a clearly intoxicated Heidi if she knew where he was and “if she was still working.” She shot back, “Are you?” Holy crap, what a moron. Minus 5.

Always helpful, Spencer asked Sam if he wanted a shot. [Crickets] Plus 3.

Obligatory Minus 4 for the bonus four minutes of ads. Boo, MTV. Boo.

TOTAL: +2. We've kept it short this time so you can add your own if you like. Comment below and we'll adjust the total score as your thoughts pour in!

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jaajajja the hills is fun and you are not fun

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Plus 2 for Audrina getting embarrassed on national TV when JB of all people declined her co-habitation invitation. Maybe this will help her learn? Minus 5 because ...Lol yeah right. She won't learn

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Minus 25 for Brent and Sam for not sacking Heidi arse sooner! She continually leaves work to have conversations with Spencer, she makes numerous private calls during her working day (to Spencer), she arrives to work looking like a hooker in hooker make-up, she allows Spencer to interupt important business meetings (in a bar though may be)and she left them both waiting (Brent and Sam)in Las Vegas while goes back to Spencer with her tail between her legs. Oh hell, better deduct 1000 points.

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Hilarious that Brent said to Heidi that Spencer might be a bad influence on her. Everybody hates him, not just Lauren! Plus 5. Open your eyes and grow up Heidi! Minus 3 for beeing plain stupid. No Brody stirring up the drama! Minus 4. Too much boring Audrina, too little Lauren! Minus 3. Finally got to see Lo again! Plus 2. Total: -3 in addition from me!

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Audrina described the many "romantic" things she wants to do to decorate her new house. Casey Patridge then asks Audrina if she "bought the house for Audrina" or if she bought the house to rekindle things with Justin. Audrina gives no answer - just that toothy look she always gives. Audrina made an extremely stupid (and expensive) choice. Minus 4 simply because she should have learned from Lauren's Paris mistake.