by Free Britney at . Comments

We know, we know.

That one's up there with "Spencer Pratt is Annoying," "Julianne Hough is Beautiful" and "Kim Kardashian Has a Giant A$$" on the list of headlines you don't really even need to write because they're going to be the case in perpetuity.

But when Jessica Simpson's ironically titled flick, Major Movie Star, is set to be renamed Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous, and released only on DVD, we just have to comment. And give props to the theaters for passing.

Not a Major Movie Star By Any Means

Jessica Simpson's disgrace to cinema hits stores February 3.

If you rent this, you are officially insane (unless you're part of a club that intentionally rents the worst possible crap you can find and plays drinking games throughout).

The film - about a ditzy movie star who enlists in the army to earn money to pay her bills - is #1 in Russia, and will premiere in Bulgaria next month, but it is not being released in theaters in any English-speaking country.

Jessica Simpson's last effort, Blonde Ambition, hit stores after showing in eight theaters and earning $1,300. That's less than Heidi Montag's weekly makeup budget!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Considering how attractive Justin Gaston is (have you seen the guy shirtless?!?), it makes sense that Billy Ray Cyrus allegedly sat his daughter down recently and warned her against giving in to temptation with her new man.

“I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something were to happen,” Billy Ray told a friend, according to Star. “I think I made an impression on her - at least, I hope so.”

Miley Cyrus' parents hope she never gets closer to Justin Gaston than she is here.

Reportedly, earlier this year, Tish Cyrus and Lynn Spears spoke at length about their famous daughters.

The conversation left an impression on Billy Ray, who doesn't wanna see his cash cow offspring suffer the same fate as Jamie-Lynn Spears.

“Tish and Billy Ray told Miley, one bad decision and she could forget the showbiz glamor; she’d have to be home feeding the baby, changing diapers and living the life of a teen mom,” said a source.

That sound you hear is Bristol Palin crying.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Dina Lohan and Ali Lohan got dressed up - sort of - for a Halloween costume party earlier this week.

Mother and daughter look absolutely thrilled to be photographed, don't they?

Perhaps the pressure of being talentless, famous and annoying is finally getting to these two. Ali needs to find her own Samantha Ronson, while Dina needs to find a way to slip into a coma.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Niki Taylor and husband Burney Lamar are expecting their first child together in March 2009.

The mode married the race car driver on December 27, 2006.

Bob and Brooke

Taylor is already the mother to 13-year-old twin boys, Jake and Hunter, from a previous marriage. We wish her the best of luck with her new family!

by Free Britney at . Comments

In the video below, The Hills' Brody Jenner does what Brody Jenner does best - wine and dine the ladies. Or at least a lady. That we know of. At this moment.

The great thing is that when being Hollywood's JV womanizer is basically your job, you have a lot of time to devote to it and juggle multiple girls at once.

Is this his latest squeeze, Jayde Nicole? His prior girlfriend, Cora Skinner? Does it matter? Check out the video below (not the best quality) and see ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

In a move wives everywhere will surely laud, Elizabeth Edwards has supposedly kicked her cheating husband, former Senator John Edwards, to the curb.

Elizabeth stood by him even after news of his affair (and alleged love child) with weird filmmaker mistress Rielle Hunter shocked the world this summer.

The cancer-stricken health care advocate and mother of two recently showed up for a presentation at George Washington University - without her husband or her wedding ring in sight. Could her husband of 29 years be history?

Elizabeth Edwards and John Edwards

HAPPIER TIMES: Elizabeth Edwards and John Edwards share a lighter moment in pre-Rielle Hunter times. Or at least pre-she-knew-about-Rielle Hunter times.

A source tells the New York Post that John Edwards is no longer living with Elizabeth and that the couple has separated. Reps for Elizabeth had no comment.

News of Edwards' affair with Rielle Hunter first broke late last year, but he denied it. Things blew over until he was caught visiting Hunter and her baby - the paternity of which remains highly questionable - in a Beverly Hills hotel.

His political career is toast regardless, but if it turns out he did knock up Rielle, that might just top Bristol Palin as the top political pregnancy story of '08.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Tiffany Shepis has agreed to marry Corey Haim.

The often-mocked actor met the surprisingly beautiful actress on the set of the 1996 film Fever Lake. We're guessing Shepis spent the last 12 years trying to do better, but finally settled on this half of The Two Coreys.

Fans of C-list horror movies might recognize Shepis from classics such as Bonnie & Clyde vs. Dracula, Dorm Of The Dead and Delta Delta Die.

Tiffany Shepis will marry Corey Haim in May of 2009. That gives her six months to come to her senses.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Two Saturdays ago, comedic worlds collided as Tina Fey's Sarah Palin came face to face at least with the real Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live.

Fey's 30 Rock co-star Alec Baldwin, who was also on hand, shared his impressions of the Republican Vice Presidential candidate with David Letterman.

While he spoke very kindly of the show, and of Sarah Palin for the most part, Baldwin simply couldn't resist referring to the Alaska Governor as "Bible Spice" and not "someone who [he] wanted her hand on the nuclear button at any point."

Here's a portion of his Late Show interview ...