Through the ($h!t) Storm: Lynne Spears' Memoir Set to Cash in On Scandalous Britney Spears Gossip

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For what was billed as an evangelical book about "parenting," Lynne Spears' widely-ridiculed much-anticipated memoir - Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World - is chock full of tawdry tales.

The New York Daily News reviewed a copy and shared some juicy tidbits:

  • Britney Spears took a liking to booze when she was just a 13-year-old Mouseketeer, then began experimenting with drugs at 15.
  • By 16, Britney's drug-fueled behavior stunned her family when the wild one was caught with coke and marijuana on a private jet.

  • Lynne Spears knew about, yet openly allowed 16-year-old Britney to sleep with boyfriend Justin Timberlake, her Mickey Mouse Club co-star.
  • Timberlake was misled about Brit's purity, as she had lost her virginity to a Kentwood, La., high school football player (Reg Jones) at 14.
  • As Spears' career began to take off, the All-American mom went along with the hoax that Britney was a virgin to boost her image.

Man, way to throw your daughter under the bus right as she's getting her train wreck life back together, Lynne Spears. Good to see you'd rather try to get rich than do what's best for Britney just once. Enjoy the weather where you're going, sellout.

As we said when we first learned about Through the Storm, we don't think the title and cover do it justice. Here are our proposed versions ...

Other quality titles conjured up by our interns, such as Milking the Ever-Loving Crap Out of Your Poor Kids, were rejected for not being catchy enough.

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Britney Spears Biography

Check Please!
Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears