Britney Spears Sex Tape: Not Real, Shockingly

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Hope you're sitting down.

We now bring you some devastating and totally predictable news from those hoping to watch a naked Britney don a pink wig and ride Adnan Ghalib.

The alleged Britney Spears sex tape isn't real.

The UK's Heat magazine reported Monday that the celebrity news photographer and ex-Spears beau was shopping a sex video of himself and the singer.

However, a source close to Britney Spears is throwing cold water on this Heat ... story: "The story is completely false," the source told E! News.

Britney Spears' rep at Jive Records has not issued any sort of comment.

As for Adnan Ghalib, fool is hard to get ahold of.

His cell number is disconnected, and photo agency JFX says he "never worked for us" and has not been able to provide any contact information for him.

Maybe that's because, well, Adnan works for Finalpixx, not JFX. These celebrity photo agencies are not one and the same. Get it together, E! News.

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Sorry, I think that's when? smooene bumped me and I hit the button and it stopped recording for a second. I tried to start recording again ASAP but I missed a few seconds.

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shocks!!!!!!!!!!britney!!!!!!

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Mind you, what would you expect a source close to Britney would say?