Michael Lohan is a law-breaking lesbian hater.

The father of Lindsay Lohan, who spent time in prison, recently told MSNBC's The Scoop that he wants his daughter to "to be happy and healthy and stay on the right path."

But if that means rumors of her impending nuptials to Samantha Ronson are true, well, count Michael out.

“I haven’t heard anything from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle. She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask," he said.

While Jesus may not believe in gay marriage, he does apparently believe in cell phones strapped to one's waist. After all, they may be calling you back to the loony bin any day now, right, Michael?