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Some woman, who is obviously very normal and in touch with reality, says she has found Jesus hiding inside a bag of Cheetos.

Shockingly, it's not Britney Spears.

Her name is Kelly Ramey, and when she opened a snack-sized bag of Cheetos, she felt something very unusual and spiritual inside.

Most of her family and friends believe it looks like a mini sculpture of Jesus Christ. Ramey and her husband call it "Cheesus."

A local minister, meanwhile, does not see anything theologically special about the Cheeto, but thinks "some good could come from it."

Definitely. Feeding it to Jayden James, perhaps. You know Britney is reading this story and frickin' foaming at the mouth right now.

Behold, the object of Britney Spears sinful, wanton lust.

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Holy crap, the earthquake that hit L.A. yesterday must have caused the hat Samantha Ronson always wears to mysteriously go missing!

Back in Los Angeles yesterday after spreading girl-on-girl love with Lindsay Lohan all over NYC, SamRo showed off her new haircut!

If you can call it that.

As celebrity hairstyles go, this one looks like a doozy ... pretty terrible and practically non-existent. What are your thoughts?

Manly DJ

A stylish Samantha Ronson rocks the Brillo pad look.

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Refusing to call it quits despite being dissed by mainstream media, The National Enquirer has released more scandalous John Edwards allegations!

The celebrity gossip tabloid reports that Edwards' alleged mistress / baby-mama, Rielle Hunter (also known as Lisa Druck), will not say a word about their affair and love child because she's being paid to zip it - $15,000 a month!

The money is reportedly being funneled to Hunter by a colleague of John Edwards, the former U.S. Senator from North Carolina, 2004 Democratic Vice Presidential nominee (running with John Kerry) and 2008 presidential candidate.

This same man is also supposedly paying off John Edwards’ friend and aide, Andrew Young, who tried to take the heat off the ex-Senator when the story broke in December by claiming he fathered the baby of Rielle Hunter.

A campaign insider told the National Enquirer the following: “A super-rich pal – who was closely involved with the campaign finances – is helping John. It’s likely this man doesn’t know all the dirty details of John’s extramarital affair, but is acting out of loyalty and is not asking a lot of questions – just writing the checks.”

John Edwards has spoken only briefly (and awkwardly) in sort of denying the story.

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Think Spencer Pratt is bad news? He's nothing compared to Stephanie Pratt, according to longtime family acquaintance Brody Jenner.

"She's much worse. A million times worse!" Jenner told Us Weekly at the X Games Celebrity Golf Tournament in Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif.

All along, on- and off-screen, Brody Jenner has warned his ex-girlfriend, The Hills star Lauren Conrad, not to trust Stephanie Pratt.

And in a new trailer for The Hills Season 4, the She-Pratt is seen enjoying an intimate, candlelit dinner with Conrad's new man.

That, if you're unaware, being baseball player Doug Reinhardt.

Stephanie Pratt has denied it was a date, telling E! Online that "he was just giving me boy advice." Jenner said he doesn't buy it.

"He might not have known that it was a date, but she had candles, and they were alone!" Brody Jenner opined. "It was a date."

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In his first public appearance since he was granted sole custody of his two sons with Britney Spears, Kevin Federline hit the golf course Tuesday.

His take on life these days?

Federleaze

"Been having a good summer, I can't complain," said K-Fed, who says lately he's been content balancing career and parenting.

"I've worked here and there a little bit," he said. "Definitely staying at home with the family. [Jayden James and Sean Preston] are doing good."

He was tight-lipped, however, when it came to Britney Spears. An agreement July 18 ended the two-year case, with Federline retaining custody of the boys, and his child support being bumped up to $20,000 from $15,000.

"I'm not here to talk about that," he told People.

Continue Reading...

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She has a handsome fiancé in Casey Aldridge, a cute baby in Maddie Briann and a new house. Now Jamie Lynn Spears has started wedding planning!

Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge will walk down the aisle - and sell the pics to OK! Magazine for at least $1 million - before the end of the year!

Despite worldwide notoriety, the young couple won't be swapping their vows at some celeb-filled resort, but will be sticking close to home.

Jamie Lynn's new house is in Liberty, Miss., just 30 minutes from her mom Lynne Spears' house, lamely named "Serenity," in Kentwood, La.

Maddie Briann Aldridge, Jamie Lynn Spears

Jamie Lynn Spears: Baby? Check. Wedding? Workin' on it.

Casey Aldridge and Jamie Lynn Spears live on three acres, which is more than enough space to put up a tent for a private, late fall ceremony.

Continue Reading...

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Looking to get re-elected to a fifth term this November, U.S. Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) let loose Saturday night on Nantucket!

The married Kerry, 64, was seen with some Bud Light drinking constituents - college sophomores and juniors, one drinking from a penis straw. Classy.

Reports surfaced that John Kerry was partying with the co-eds, but his office released this statement telling a different story:

"Sen. Kerry and two friends left dinner at the Straight Warf restaurant on Nantucket and walked down the dock. A large group recognized Senator Kerry and asked if they could have a picture taken. The group came off the boat and onto the dock, took a couple of photos with Senator Kerry and his friends, and then Sen. Kerry and his two friends immediately walked away. End of story."

We believe Sen. Kerry here. Can you envision the uptight stiff getting his freak on with college girls? Forget about it. He'd bore them to tears talking about the Ways and Means bill he helped pass in 1991 and they'd ditch him ASAP.

John Edwards, on the other hand ...

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Chris Rock can't get a major nutjob off his back.

Despite DNA tests proving he is not the father of Kali Bowyer’s child, she is moving forward with a book that still claims the boy is Chris Rock's.

In the press release Kali Bowyer circulated for her upcoming book, Hollywood Child, she she had “a hot affair with racy comedian Chris Rock.”

Her life, according to the release, “started crashing down all around her,” until “getting pregnant with Chris’ son saved her life.”

Rock’s attorney said, “There is a final judgement. This is not Chris Rock’s child. It’s been fully litigated, and that includes DNA testing.”

Kali Bowyer

Kali Bowyer? Not normal. No, really, she's nuts. TMZ is reporting that she has a history of trying to run scams - and she apparently really sucks at it!

From 2005-present, she has been convicted of DUI in Georgia, charged with theft by deception, facing charges of running an elaborate cellphone scam, writing bad checks, and causing several domestic disturbances. Ouch.

She also once claimed to be kidnapped and force to take some white powder, but that story got messed up when they asked her son what happened.

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Shia LaBeouf was cleared of blame for an early-morning crash Sunday in Los Angeles, Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said in a statement.

"The other car ran a red light and, if not already, will be cited," Whitmore says.

"They will be listed as Party One on the report, indicating they were at fault."

The Transformers star was cited with a misdemeanor DUI and no changes will be added to that, the police say.

Shia LaBeouf, 22, was arrested after the collision around 3 a.m. Sunday.

L.A. County Sheriff's Sgt. Scott Wolf said the actor "showed outward signs of intoxication." He had been at West Hollywood's Troubadour club before the crash.

His Transformers co-star, Isabel Lucas, 23, was a passenger in his truck when the accident occurred, a source said.

She was not seriously injured, but Shia LaBeouf's rep said the the actor is "currently recovering from extensive hand surgery with plans to return to work on the set of Transformers 2 within one month."