Spencer and Heidi: The New Face of Celebrity Gossip

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"Obviously we're entertainers. We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives." - Heidi Montag

The celebrity news world is simultaneously bursting and flat.

Broke and Gross

The unbalance of Britney Spears, the growing pains of Miley Cyrus and the druggy tailspin of Amy Winehouse - to name a few favorite plots - add up over the hours to grand narratives and debates about femininity, drug use, mental health, sexuality, motherhood, legal proceedings, parenting and violence.

But the celebrity gossip world is flat in that every story seems just as important as every other - and this is a monster that needs feeding.

That's what celeb news fame is now: Weekly, and sometimes hourly, we must have stories; the lives of the chosen people must appear to move forward.

Into the breach between supply and demand have stepped Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the villainous couple from MTV's docu-soap The Hills.

While Heidi Montag may not be the most famous, she's definitely fame-ish. Creatures of the game in every way, she and Spencer, the arch-enemies of Lauren Conrad, have mastered the new realities of celebrity culture.

The two know what commodity they're selling and what its value is: "There's only so much gossip," as Heidi said over lunch recently.

"We're always the juicier story," Spencer Pratt interjected.

Switching to the third person, he added, "Heidi and Spencer are gossip machines. Every day, it's like, 'What did Heidi and Spencer do?'"

Heidi and Spencer. "Speidi" for short.

He's 24, went to Crossroads School and then USC, having grown up in Santa Monica and the Palisades. She's 21 and was raised in Crested Butte, Colo., which she referred to as "the smallest place in the world."

Heidi Montag came to L.A. in August 2005 after a miserable fashion school year in San Francisco where she met Lauren Conrad, late of MTV's Laguna Beach, whose move to L.A. was to become the raison d'être for The Hills.

TMZ calls them "celebutards."

Perez Hilton calls them "famewhores" and "promosexuals."

Spencer Pratt's response: "Anybody who wants to promote our brand, negative or positive, give me a call."

Continue reading in the Los Angeles Times ...

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Alia Diamond, You speak like an idiot, Your manners are non existent, and the F bombs show you have absolutely no class...now to translate so you get what Im saying....u speek lik an ideeot, ur maners r nun xistnt, and da f boms sho u have absoolutlee no clas....please dear ...clean up your act.

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Please, please, please make them go away!! I cannot stand this couple- they are annoying, pathetic, losers. I really do not understand what they have to offer or why they are considered celebrities. Since when does 5 minutes of fame make you a celebrity?

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........well all i know is....SPENCER SUCKS AND HE'S AN ASS WHOSE USING HEIDI'S DUMB ASS FOR FAME...WAT AN IDIOT SHE IS!!

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im so confused

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I am fascinated. I watch Chelsea Lately on E sometimes, and she frequently mentions "Spencer and Heidi." I still have no idea who these people are. I Googled them, and it looks (from the photo here) like they are a 27 year old man and a 32 year old woman posing in a cropped-out real estate advertisement. From the canned text here, it seems that they are on some television program. Advice to the teens of the world- move on! There are no questions about Spencer and Heidi on a college entrance exam, and the odds that these two will come up in a job interview are slim.

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oh and i was also janelle,lacey,the second brianna garcia, and k-k.....srry

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hey guys im srry but i was posin as my friend alia i just had to stop when things got to serious im so srry i didnt think things wud get this bad over spelling, when alia really did cum on here she was pissed and i feel horrible & im so srry for cursing at yall and please dont be mad at alia cuz shez really nice and tries not to tlk bad about ppl...those were her true feelings about spencer so i used her name and im srry for humiliating her and i should not've even came on here so once again im srry for everything.

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Alia you ARE uneducated. You type like a highschool dropout. You pass all your classes? You only have to get a C to pass! Do you even know what an A looks like? Have fun riding the short bus Alia.

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watever say watcha wat but i kno i aint uneducated cuz i pass all ma classes and tha only piece of trash i kno iz u ......and i dont care dat u have a masters degree hello im only 16 stupid

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geez is all dis really necessary? seriously this is just rediculous.....and what??? i wasnt sayin i agree wit her writing i was agreeing wit wut she was saying about spencer.....all this mess is stupid.....especially over how someone talks or writes......and what alia said about sayin ur most likely a white proper stuck up brat is really not as horrible as callin her an uneducated ghetto piece of trash.....both arguements are gunna do nothin but bring big problems so jus chill!! and if i understand her writing then thats me & if u dont then u jus dont, keep ur rude comments 2 yourselves