The Hills Recap: "Girls Night Out"

You gotta love The Hills.

To prove his (sort of valid) point about Heidi Montag's unfair treatment of him, Spencer Pratt makes a d!ck move in his typical, passive-aggressive fashion, then becomes indignant when called out for it. Crazy bickering and drama follows.

It all started when Heidi and Audrina Patridge meet for lunch and Montag asks her out for some drinks - she needs a girls night out! Like, totes, girl.

Audrina agrees, and Stephanie Pratt - also on her way to S Bar to meet Heidi - makes the mistake of telling Spencer her destination on her way out.

A few hours later, Spencer shows up at the club. Natch.

Heidi f*%king flips out when she sees Spencer talking to some girls across the bar. Even by the high standards of The Hills, this is a bona fide freak-out.

Finally, she confronts Spencer and tears him a new one for his flirting. "I can't even look at you," Heidi Montag scolds. Spencer calls her "insane," and while he may be a moron for pulling this whole stunt, it's hard to argue with that word choice.

Despite getting a hot new job lead, Lauren Conrad was not all smiles after hearing that Audrina Patridge partied with Heidi Montag the previous night.

The next morning, Audrina gives Lauren Conrad the rundown of her evening at da club, and a miffed LC suggests that Spencer and Heidi may be trying to be pals with Audrina just to piss her off. Man, Lauren Conrad is not pleased.

LC then says, in response to Audrina remarking on how the girls were actually all over Spencer, "He probably pays them. No girl would willingly touch that scum. [embarrassed pause] Whoa! Where did that come from?!"

Ah, The Hills.

Elsewhere in the life of LC, she helps out Whitney Port with the casting for Whit's company. Her crazy boss' fashion show is in full swing and LC gets to help. Very exciting and cool for our girls to take part in a major Fashion Week show!

Crazy boss Kelly Cutrone barks orders at Lauren and Whitney the whole time, but the show is a success, and Kelly offers Lauren a position. OMG! Yay!

Back in Heidi-land, she whines to her co-worker at Bolthouse that Spencer Pratt has betrayed her and she doesn't know "how she can love and hate someone so much at the same time." Groan. [Cue the sad alt-rock ballad, MTV]

Spencer and Heidi then meet up and Spencer says he doesn't know how long he can wait around for Heidi to decide she wants to be on this "relationship vacation." Again, we can't believe we are saying this right now, but:

Team Spencer?