The Hollywood Gossip staff is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world you probably never considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.
Two of our favorite athletes, Yankees slugger A-Rod (Alex Rodriguez) and tennis star A-Rodd (Andy Roddick) are no stranger to media attention - but it's their lovely significant others who have been getting equal exposure of late.
Let's see how Roddick's fiancee, model Brooklyn Decker, stacks up against Alex's better half, Cynthia Rodriguez, in a grueling 10-round bout. Ding, ding!
2. FREQUENTLY WEARS ...
Brooklyn Decker: Bikini
Cynthia Rodriguez: Scowl
Brooklyn Decker: B-Deck
Cynthia Rodriguez: F-Rod
4. SPORTS ILLUSTATED SWIMSUIT ISSUES
Brooklyn Decker: 3 (2006-2008)
Cynthia Rodriguez: 1 (2004)
5. HANGS WITH ...
Brooklyn Decker: SI's Dr. Z
Cynthia Rodriguez: Daughter Natasha
6. KNOCK ON FIANCE/HUSBAND
Brooklyn Decker: Can't win the big one; Return game, backhand and volleys are suspect for top ten player
Cynthia Rodriguez: Greedy, self-centered, bad teammate, not clutch
Brooklyn Decker: Quite possibly the most perfect thing ever created
Cynthia Rodriguez: Umm... not purple like her husband's, at least
8. HER MAN PREVIOUSLY PINED FOR ...
Brooklyn Decker: Mandy Moore
Cynthia Rodriguez: Jessica Canseco
9. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T MENTION ...
Brooklyn Decker: Roger Federer
Cynthia Rodriguez: Joslyn Noel Morse
10. SPORTS TERM THAT MAY ALSO APPLY TO SEX LIFE
Brooklyn Decker: Love-love
Cynthia Rodriguez: Getting to third base
THE VERDICT: A strong fight all the way to the end by both competitors, but like her husband, Cynthia just couldn't come through when it matters most. It's Decker, the Sports Illustrated hottie, dispatching Mrs. Rodriguez, 6-4!