It was Dolly Parton night on American Idol this week. But, let's face it, this meant little to anyone under the age of 30.
The contestants acted enamored by the country singer, but we've known Parton for years by the size of her breasts more than the reach of her songs. And our views didn't change much after a lackluster evening, highlighted by only three noteworthy performances. They were:
David Cook: While the finalist-in-waiting couldn't top last week's rendition of "Bille Jean," Simon Cowell made the salient point that Cook still entertained us singing about a sparrow (thanks to the song, "Little Sparrow"). Randy Jackson said:
"You made your own arrangement which was very cool, and once again another hot, consistent performance."
David Archuleta: This version of "Smokey Mountain Memories" was a typical David Archuleta performance: beautifully sung, emotional and, in our view, boring. We've lost interest in this contestant, though Simon said the song choice this week was "right on the money."
Michael Johns: The best of the night. Michael Johns went with "It's All Wrong, but It's All Right" (see, told you no one under 30 had heard of these songs) and was told by Paula Abdul: "I just want to say one thing ... You're a star, a rock star, a blues star ... and you look gorgeous." That's four things, Paula.
So, who is in danger of going home tonight? Despite less than ideal performances, Brooke White and Carly Smithson are safe.
It's gotta be time for Kristy Lee Cook to finally say goodbye, unless the consistently average auditions of Ramiele Malubay do her in.
What do you think?