On the long-awaited premiere of The Hills, Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port arrive in Paris to help out at the Crillon Ball for Teen Vogue.
What that is, we really have no clue, as it's not explained, but "It's a new world for you," a driver cautions. "Everything is different."
Lauren and Whitney then proceed to run errands for Teen Vogue and talk about boys. Everything is remarkably different in Paris, indeed.
Back in the USA, a reeling Heidi Montag is spending QT with her parents in snowy Crested Butte, Colo., while out in L.A., a depressed Spencer Pratt tells his little sister how he's going to win Heidi back by surprising her.
Stephanie Pratt tells him to respect Heidi's request for space. Her advice on what Spencer should do to win her back: "I mean, I guess you could just write a list of everything you've done and do the exact opposite."
Gotta give Stephanie Pratt props for that line!
In Paris, Lauren gets a call from Audrina Patridge, who says that she saw Brody Jenner at Les Deux kissing a girl he was calling his girlfriend.
We believe Brody's new girl to be Cora Skinner, though it was not specified. In any case, don't expect many more photos such as this in the immediate future.
To get her mind off the news, LC and Whitney go out with some guys from the band Rock and Roll (great name for a band), all of whom smoke, and one of whom has a penchant for wearing his shirt unbuttoned. Gotta love France!
When they get back to the hotel, Lauren Conrad consults her English to French dictionary and learns how to say "Brody is scum." Damn right!
Heidi Montag, meanwhile, is living up to the New York Times' assessment that she's become something of a feminist hero overnight.
- First, when Spencer Pratt explains the reason for his visit, she cuts him off and says, "Right, it's about you. It's all about you." Snap!
- Then, at dinner with her parents, who ain't thrilled to see him either, she tells him if he really respected her, he wouldn't have come. Double snap!
- Finally, she goes off about how she wants her friends back in her life and orders him to move out when they get back to L.A. Damn, girl.
Paris again now. Before leaving for the Ball, Lauren discovers that she's burned her borrowed Alberta Ferretti dress with her curling iron. Sadness.
Perhaps wearing it out to a club the night before wasn't the best idea, but no matter. Whitney, devoted friend, somehow commandeers LC another one.
At the Crillon Ball, Whitney Port has a talk with her boss, who recommends that she pursue styling instead of... whatever she does now. Okay then.
At the end of the evening, Matthias, the guitarist for Rock and Roll, propositions Lauren Conrad with just what she needs to forget Brody Jenner - an opportunity for a midnight tour of Paris on his Vespa. OMG! She accepts!