Forget Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Mike Huckabee.
While these political stars each have their positive attributes, none are worthy of the sought-after title of Celebrity Gossip President.
Okay, so we just made that title up 45 minutes ago. But we felt that in an exciting presidential election year, The Hollywood Gossip should hold its own race - and YOU, our readers, should get to vote on the winner!
Step #1? A PRIMARY featuring seven exciting President-VP tickets from the world of celebrity gossip. Your votes will help narrow the field to three by May 1, leading to a special run-off election among the top vote-getters.
You can VOTE HERE now, with the ballot also appearing on the right-hand side of The Hollywood Gossip's home page until May 1.
Now, we present you with the candidates for Celebrity Gossip President and Vice President, along with the respective parties nominating them ...
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
(Reality TV Party)
Phony, plastic, master manipulators and attention-seeking media whores who are obsessed with fame. It's like The Hills couple was destined to go into politics.
Kim Kardashian and Ray J
(Celebrity Sex Tape Party)
Upside: Not-so-secret videotaping of all U.S. citizens is sure to improve our national security; Downside: Budgetary concerns due to new White House furniture needing to be made to accommodate Kim's giant ass.
Donald Trump and Vince McMahon
(Bad Hair-Megalomaniac Party)
If a Trump-McMahon team fails, it certainly won't be due to lack of funds. Or shameless, self-promoting publicity stunts. Or huge grapefruits.
Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens
(Super-Cute Celeb Couple Party)
Zanessa promises nude photos and perfect hair for all!
Suri Cruise and Jayden James Federline
(Celebrity Baby Party)
Upside: Very cute, little political baggage offers fresh start. Downside: Inexperience, possible brainwashing (Suri) and malnutrition (Jayden).
Adnan Ghalib and Sam Lutfi
(Seedy Britney Spears Hanger-On Party)
Should either be apprehended as part of a sleeper cell before the November election, Alli Sims will take his place on the ticket.
Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest
(American Idol Party)
A Simon-Ryan ticket will be full of witty barbs, low-brow insults and palpable, homoerotic tension. At least Paula won't be part of it.
That's it! Cast your vote for your favorite candidates in our Celebrity Gossip Presidential Primary by voting on our home page or by clicking HERE!