The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest 18

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Welcome back, celeb news and gossip readers around the world, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, our weekly fan-favorite tradition.

Who won this week's contest, featuring the always-skanky (but entertaining) Paris Hilton? It was a very tough race, but we've settled on the winner.

Ready to Party

Congratulations to Debra Walker for a terrific entry. The winning caption appears beneath the photo. Scroll down for the full list of captions we received.

Good luck in the next edition of The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest!

Clearly missing Science Day at school, Paris mistakes cm for inches when ordering her Village People Tribute outfit.

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I forgot my ropes so I'll roc da mic!!!

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Strong enough for a man but made for a woman. See, no white residue, at least not under my arms...

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Who said cops never got any action?

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New Career Move for Paris: Stripper!

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IM A B*TCH & I MAKE OUT WITH BLIND DRUNK MEN... OH I DONT REALLY LIKE... BENJI MADDEN....

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Clearly missing Science Day at school, Paris mistakes cm for inches when ordering her Village People Tribute outfit.

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"Uhm, if i just wanna be a Stripper Police Officer, do i have to eat jelly filled donuts?"
-Paris Hilton

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If you want me to poll dance raise your hand! I said RAISE YOUR HAND!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!

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Look! No hair....anywhere.