Get Ready For the Gene Simmons Sex Tape!

We're sorry, but we must report it. The Gene Simmons sex tape has officially hit the open market. Now, try to cleanse your mind of that thought.

Well, after you look at the photo below.

According to AVN, the Gene Simmons sex tape was allegedly made while he was promoting ... Frank's Energy Drink.

Also, the woman in the video is not Shannon Tweed (Gene Simmons' longtime partner and mother of his two kids) but some random model named Elsa.

Elsa is a spokesmodel for Frank's Energy Drink. Part of her job description apparently entails letting Gene do his thing Ray J style...

A still photo from the Gene Simmons sex tape. Wonderful.

The video is supposedly available for purchase at GenesSecret.com, though the site is not functional as of this posting. The demand for a Gene Simmons sex video must be so high that the server just can't handle this huge load.

Which is also what Elsa said. Heh, heh?