Because we know you just want to hear and talk about Heidi Montag's music video / new song "Higher" every single day, we thought we'd share excerpts from Yahoo! music / reality TV expert Lyndsey Parker's "review" of it ...
The name "Higher" is certainly appropriate, as The Hills' Montag strives to reach new heights of pop stardom. Or starlet-dom, more specifically.
The music video features the California media whore on familiar territory - a beach - the ideal sun-drenched setting for her to rock her usual pink bikini and thus flaunt her new, surgically enhanced "hills."
"Higher" brings to mind beach-babe videos like Madonna's "Cherish," Janet Jackson's "Love Would Never Do Without You," and Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game."
However, while each of those videos was directed by the late photography great Herb Ritts, "Higher" was in fact shot by Heidi Montag's Hills boyfriend, pimp, possible fiance, and amateur cameraman, Spencer Pratt.
Heidi Montag: On all fours, and the "set" of her music video.
To state the obvious, let's just say while Spencer Pratt may have shot a Heidi Montag sex tape or two in his day, he's not exactly Herb Ritts.
As for Heidi Montag's actual song? Compared to recent tunes by other reality TV babes, it's not quite as memorable as Paris Hilton's "Stars Are Blind," but not as forgettable as Paula Abdul's "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow."
But let's face it, the only entity currently selling singles more cheesy and processed than the ones by these lovely ladies is Kraft.
In the end, "Higher" is what it is. You already assume the music video is terrible and the song even worse, but you still wanna watch. And you know this.