By their fruits - or at least their cahoots - ye shall know them as Tonica.
Tonica, as in Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson, according to a new Sporting News football column. Tonica, as in a more scrutinized and entertaining, if slightly less beautiful, couple than Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen.
Tonica, as in the single organism that threatens to devour the Super Bowl dreams of the Dallas Cowboys. Perhaps you've heard that Romo and Simpson - with some of his Cowboys teammates - vacationed in Mexico last week.
If you're a Cowboys fan, that means you'll be subjected all week to deathly serious speculation that Tonica's powers of distraction are too potent for the QB to complete the task at hand - beating the rival Giants Sunday.
Is Jessica Simpson a distraction for Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo?
Dallas has been the better of the two teams all year, but lately, celebrity gossip mongers have hit the TV and radio airwaves and the blogosphere to forge a link between Simpson and Romo - and any of the Cowboys' imperfections.
The strains of angst rose up at Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve and now this week, resuscitating talk that Romo fumbled away last year's playoff game because of another celebrity girlfriend - Carrie Underwood - on hand.
Even star teammate Terrell Owens got in on the act after the Cowboys' loss to the Philadelphia Eagles last month - a game attended by Simpson that was, wouldn't you know it, the worst statistical game of Tony Romo's career.
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room," Terrell Owens joked. "I think a lot of people feel like she's taking his focus away."
Can Tony Romo keep his focus? Or is this oversexed QB destined to implode Sunday? Wouldn't it be good to be Matt Leinart and focus only on partying?