Earlier today, we ran a story on Britney Spears' friend Sam Lutfi, after an Us Weekly expose revealed some shady details about this character's past.
Among them? That the enabler's real name - or at least alias - is Osama. That's right, people, Osama Lutfi. Suffice it to say, this comes as quite the revelation.
As a result, our staff feels it is our duty to warn celebrity gossip readers of the potential danger by officially raising the terror alert level to NO PANTS!
But seriously folks. While there is no practical reason to think that Mr. Osama Lutfi is connected to others bearing his infamous first name, or that Sam Lutfi is planning on waging jihad against our nation by pilfering Britney Spears' bank accounts and holding the pop singer hostage, we must remain on heightened alert.
Britney Spears and Osama bin Laden, er, Lutfi, celebrate her birthday.