It occurs to The Hollywood Gossip staff writers that we have not come across any good Britney Spears pictures in, like, at least a day or two.
Much like an inexplicable lack of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt on celebrity news sites, we were thinking this had to be some kind of record for Britney.
It turns out The Daily Mail (U.K.) may have a good theory as to how - or why - this rare feat was accomplished. And it's not exactly pretty.
The publication is reporting that Britney had liposuction in Las Vegas over the weekend, and claims she underwent the same procedure last April.
Britney Spears: Liposuction fiend?
They probably sucked out gallons of pork rinds and $7 designer lattes from Starbucks. Let's just pray Spears didn't have Jan Adams do the honors, eh?
It's also being claimed by the British newspaper that Britney Spears is seeing a pair of psychologists hired by her long-estranged mother, Lynne Spears.
Spears likely needs a whole team of psychiatrists, after all, because one would just go insane listening to Britney and her hick-tinged verbal diarrhea.
Moreover, lawyers for Britney and Kevin Federline will be back in the courtroom on Friday regarding the tape of Spears running a red light with her children dozing in the back seat and a court monitor ducking for cover up front.
Spears' lawyer, Anne Kiley, said of the traffic incident, documented in pictures: "She was distracted. This was not blatant irresponsible driving on her part."
Yeah, people. So there. Sending a text message while not watching traffic lights and endangering people's lives is a distraction, and not Britney's fault at all. And even if she were to blame, you don't know what it's like to be a pop star!