After a week absence that tested our patience, The Hills girls returned to bring Season 3's rising, soap-opera style tensions to a new high.
- The subject of this week's drama: Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors.
- The creator of the rumors (or at least the person bringing them up again, months later): Notorious troublemaker Jen Bunney.
Blame it all on the Bunney, indeed.
Lauren Conrad's fair-weather friend returned to The Hills with a vengeance last night, making that annoying ass pouty face and saying "like" and "um" more times than we can count. And blaming Brody Jenner for spreading those LC sex tape rumors that we thought simmered down months ago.
Of course, to any Hills fan, the theory that Brody Jenner spread sex tape rumors about Lauren Conrad sounds crazy. Where's the motive? This is a guy who won't say a harsh word towards anyone. And his alleged involvement in these rumors is a result of hearsay from - guess who - Heidi Montag.
Yes, Jen Bunney tells Lauren Conrad that Heidi Montag said Brody Jenner made up the rumors. Looks like she's just trying to take the heat off Spencer Pratt.
Traveling the way much celebrity gossip does these days - txt msg, omg - LC gets a message at work that Jen Bunney needs to talk to her. Small talk is not a big part of the equation here, as "Buns" is quick to drop the Lauren Conrad sex tape bomb, so to speak. Poor LC. She's just trying to move on and live her life!
Slightly suspicious of Brody Jenner, Lauren confronts the Prince of Malibu and he skirts the issue, reluctant to admit that he knows Spencer did it. But Lauren starts accusing him and finally he relents, stating that he knows "100 percent for a fact" that the loathsome Spencer Pratt is to blame.
Basically, this whole episode confirmed what we've known for months. You have to love The Hills, people, there's really no show like it.
In other news, Whitney Port was adorable (yet far too sparingly used) at the Teen Vogue offices, while Lauren apologized to Audrina Patridge for being judgmental about Justin Brescia (better known as Justin-Bobby) in Las Vegas.
He had a couple of good lines while shooting pool, although they may have to start giving him subtitles, because he mumbles too much to be understood.